Is this cheating?

Trenton Romulox · Dec 30, 2007

Is taking pictures of a friend of the opposite sex whilst she is nude because she wants pictures of her that look 'pretty' cheating on my girlfriend?

Antarctican · Dec 30, 2007

Well, the assignment is fraught with potential peril. Make sure your girlfriend knows about it beforehand, cuz she's sure to find out at some point. And if the friend has a boyfriend, maybe he should be invited to be there, so it's all on the up and up. (Unless she wants to surprise him with the pics.) Having someone else there is probably a good idea, to protect both of you from later accusations by anyone, but that would be up to your friend as nudity is involved. Behave like a professional and it shouldn't be a problem.

(Is my not-always-accurate memory correct on this occasion, that you're a teenager? If so, it would take a very trusting and mature girlfriend of yours to be okay with this. No matter what your age, if your girlfriend isn't okay with this, then you should decline the assignment, IMHO.)

Trenton Romulox · Dec 30, 2007

Double post.

Antarctican · Dec 30, 2007

The model is obviously okay with it as she asked you to take the pics. So you shouldn't feel weird...you were acting as any other professional photographer would.

You still might want to consider telling your girlfriend. It just seems that this type of thing eventually comes to light (she sees the jpegs, or the model or someone else lets it slip either intentionally or accidentally) and the fact it wasn't disclosed makes it seem you are trying to hide something. But you are in the best position to know whether that's what you should do....you know your girlfriend's personality and how she might react.
[/motherly advice]

Chris of Arabia · Dec 30, 2007

Or post the images here and we'll tell you whether you're safe or not...

j/k

Anorien · Dec 30, 2007

ahhh famous last words (they'll never find out).

Like Antarctican said, you know your girlfried best but, *if* she was to find out, it is going to be a whole lot worse that she didn't hear it from you. It'll might feel to her like you had something to hide.

(wow... poor guy, tag teamed by moms...

)

bhop · Dec 30, 2007

I don't think it's cheating in the least. But i'm a guy.

You're girlfriend is a woman, she might not think of it as "cheating" per se, but from my experiences, she will probably get upset when she finds out about it.

This comment

And she told me, and I quote, 'Get good at taking portraits so you can take some of me. Nude portraits.'

You're screwed here.. she will probably be pissed that she wasn't the first nude girl you too photos of.

layball:

Personally, I could see myself in the same situation. I don't even know what i'd do about it. Part of me would say. "I should let my girl know" but another part would be "I'm taking this to my deathbed.. and while i'm at it, I might as well find more nude girls to photograph"

Garbz · Dec 30, 2007

Did she ever tell you that she reads TPF...

Josh66 · Dec 30, 2007

Trenton Romulox said:
...but I wonder if I should feel bad for seeing.

Do you? I don't think you should, and you shouldn't feel bad for not feeling bad either...lol.

If all you did was take pictures I don't see how that could be cheating.

I agree that your girlfriend will eventually find out about about it though, you won't be able to hide it forever. Trying to hide the fact that you did the nude portraits will only make you look guilty to her, she might wonder if you did more than just take pictures. If she finds out before you tell her she'll probably be pretty pissed. I say it's best to bite the bullet and tell her now... It'll be a lot less painful than if you wait till she finds out on her own.

Good luck!

kundalini · Dec 30, 2007

The longer you wait to break the news, the worse it will be. Preferably it should have been stated prior to the shoot if the possibility was there.

Silence about this will screw you terribly. As Joe Friday so often stated, "Just the facts ma'am". It will eventually break the surface, so take the position to be forthcoming and honest.

spiffybeth · Dec 30, 2007

no it isnt cheating, but the fact that youre not telling her isnt a good thing either. you should have told her before the photo shoot what was going to go down. it almost implies that there isnt much trust between the two of you...

and if your gf thinks its cheating and decides to leave you over a photo shoot, then she probably wasnt worth your time to begin with.

(are you the one who thinks your gf is out of your league?)

Trenton Romulox · Dec 30, 2007

spiffybeth said:
no it isnt cheating, but the fact that youre not telling her isnt a good thing either. you should have told her before the photo shoot what was going to go down. it almost implies that there isnt much trust between the two of you...

and if your gf thinks its cheating and decides to leave you over a photo shoot, then she probably wasnt worth your time to begin with.

(are you the one who thinks your gf is out of your league?)

Yeah, I'm that one. I am the one that thinks, nay, knows she is out of my league. That paranoia and insecurity sort of drives me to do stupid things sometimes.

jstuedle · Dec 30, 2007

As a married man of 34 years, I can tell you most women will bite your head off and dispose of it through a meat grinder. Prior knowledge is best, second best is letting her know from you, before one of her catty girlfriends let's her know from the grapevine. We all know how the story grows each time it's told. The grapevine will have her having your triplets, and it was a 5 way free-for-all. Trust me, tell her.

spiffybeth · Dec 30, 2007

Trenton Romulox said:
Yeah, I'm that one. I am the one that thinks, nay, knows she is out of my league. That paranoia and insecurity sort of drives me to do stupid things sometimes.

you may even want to preface the conversation with something along the lines of you thought about not telling her, but for the sake of the relationship and being honest you thought you should tell her.