Just venting

[Derrel]

Good lord.

None of my business, but... um... really...

1. Sounds like you dodged a very bad bullet.
2. Sounds like you should have seen that bullet as it was being loaded into the chamber about 2 days after you started dating her.

Uh, yeah, my thoughts exactly. Carefully reading your description above tells me what you ought to do: run, run far, run FAST, run long. The "woman" (who acts like a high school girl with problems) you are describing has many very bad flaws, and the two kids with two men, and the huge dose of insecurity she has, and her desire to date other men...and on and on...seriously, if you were my son, and I were your dad, I would tell you to leave this girl behind. Far behind. Far, far, far behind.

 

[RxForB3]

Heh. I'm sure my parents were thinking the same thing, but they let me make my own mistakes Besides, I'm old enough, I should know better anyway.

I told my parents she got engaged two weeks after we split and Dad just said "that explains a few things." Still not sure what he meant.

 

[kathyt]

Okay, first thing you need to do is print off your original post so you can read it a year from now for a good laugh as to what was I thinking kinda thing. Next, I would think about talking to a counselor or therapist to set some goals and help you establish a plan to get there. It is not a sign of weakness; it is actually a sign of maturity. We have all been at a place in our lives where we have just needed a helping hand or a nice nudge in the right direction and I know we can all relate to breakups. Pick yourself up and use that frustration as a poitive step in the next chapter of your life! Good luck buddy.

 

[Tony S]

Wow....... you really need to go find that guy she married, shake his hand, and say thanks.

 

[RxForB3]

Heh. I do feel sorry for the guy. There's no way he could know what he's in for. Either that, or he's worse off than me!

Kathy, I actually did a few sessions with a counselor for marriage counseling through the college counselor back before I split with the ex-wife. The ex only made it to the first two. At the third session the counselor actually told me I should get a divorce and that I was better off without her.

But this seems to be so much of a pattern that there HAS to be something going on. Just need to figure out where and what kind of counselor I should find. I'm certainly not depressed. Handle stress well, and all that. Have a good amount of self-confidence. Have a great example of a wonderful marriage in my parents. Just something attracts me to the wrong kind of woman!

 

[MLeeK]

Seems like you like to be needed. Not such a bad thing, just remember to make sure it's needed in a GOOD way, not an addictive, possessive, obsessive and crazy kind of way.

 

[Majeed Badizadegan]

Next time you have an erection, hit it with a hammer, that should fix things for a few weeks.

Seriously. What Lew says probably hits the nail on the head...

Touché Manaheim.

 

[RxForB3]

Ouch. I must have been tired last night to miss that joke!

Did you hear about the missing shipment of Viagra?

Yeah, they're looking for hardened criminals!

 

[kathyt]

Heh. I do feel sorry for the guy. There's no way he could know what he's in for. Either that, or he's worse off than me!

Kathy, I actually did a few sessions with a counselor for marriage counseling through the college counselor back before I split with the ex-wife. The ex only made it to the first two. At the third session the counselor actually told me I should get a divorce and that I was better off without her.

But this seems to be so much of a pattern that there HAS to be something going on. Just need to figure out where and what kind of counselor I should find. I'm certainly not depressed. Handle stress well, and all that. Have a good amount of self-confidence. Have a great example of a wonderful marriage in my parents. Just something attracts me to the wrong kind of woman!

If you live in a larger city and have insurance the options are going to be fairly large to the type of providers you could choose from. Sometimes it can be a little bit more limited if you have no insurance or if you are in a more rural area. First, I would start with calling your primary care doctor and asking for a referral or if they know of any mental health counselors, therapists, or psychiatrists in your area that they would recommend. If that doesn't work then I would call your local hospital because they can be a great resource for you as well. I currently work in an emergency department as a RN and we would be a wonderful resource for you in your own area as well since we generally deal with these providers on a daily basis on a much larger scale of coarse. So if you have any friends that are nurses in your area, call them up! Good luck.

 

[DarlaMichele]

Go talk to a professional before dating anyone, man... you're headed for a freakin' disaster.

ha agreed! but look at it this way YOU ARE BETTER off! Things happen for a reason youll eventually fall in love again and find someone that wont be so insecure about herself,you, and the relationship...Trust me been there done that. Just keep your head up be single and mingle and the right one will fall right into your arms have an amazing day sweetheart

 

[otherprof]

Get a copy of the Blasters' "So Long Baby, Goodbye" and play it a few times, until you smile. "There was a cold wind blowing on the night we met; the leaves fell from the trees. You made a lot of promises I ain't seen yet, I ain't gonna ask you "please."
It's hard, but it's life. In time you will look back and see you had a very close call with a very unbalanced person. Congratulations on your narrow escape.

 

[RxForB3]

Thanks Darla!

And thanks Kathy. As a pharmacist, I really only deal with the psychiatrists in the area, so I don't really know the counselors and psychologists around. I definitely don't think I need a psychiatrist.

Honestly, as much as I'm curious the underlying cause, as long as I make sure not to rush into another relationship, and go more with my head than with other parts of me, I'll probably be fine.

I've really been doing well so far. This is the longest I've been single for a long time, even if it hasn't been but about a month. I've been getting in shape (lost about 20 pounds). I'm being pickier, and finding new female friends to simply hang out with. I know exactly what I should be looking for: someone confident, independent, ambitious, and on an intellectual par with me (or even smarter).

Yesterday was more a momentary setback, but talking to you all helped a lot.

 

[RxForB3]

Thanks, otherprof. I like listening to Cee Lo Green's F You, even though the lyrics don't really apply. It's still a fun song. Just can't play it with my son around!

 

[kathyt]

Thanks Darla!

And thanks Kathy. As a pharmacist, I really only deal with the psychiatrists in the area, so I don't really know the counselors and psychologists around. I definitely don't think I need a psychiatrist.

Honestly, as much as I'm curious the underlying cause, as long as I make sure not to rush into another relationship, and go more with my head than with other parts of me, I'll probably be fine.

I've really been doing well so far. This is the longest I've been single for a long time, even if it hasn't been but about a month. I've been getting in shape (lost about 20 pounds). I'm being pickier, and finding new female friends to simply hang out with. I know exactly what I should be looking for: someone confident, independent, ambitious, and on an intellectual par with me (or even smarter).

Yesterday was more a momentary setback, but talking to you all helped a lot.

Well, hell if I would have known you were a pharmacist my answer would have been alot shorter! You said a VERY important thing in your last post, "I know exactly what I should be looking for: someone confident, independent, ambitious, and on an intellectual par with me (or even smarter)."
I think you just might be on to something here.