I use a normal lens for much of the work... certainly any full-legnth group photos. For portraits of indviduals and couples, I like to use a "twice normal" lens... so, for 6x7 I use a 180mm. The longer lenses can be used during the ceremony too, allowing you to work without being a distraction. Bring a tripod for these. I bring something slightly wide lens too for close quarters. Basically, I use the longest lens a situation allows.
I avoid bringing the large lights. I look for window-light or an outdoor setting for portaits. But if it looks like rain, or if there's no good outdoor location, I'll pack 'em up.
I've never shot a wedding with 35mm gear, but would consider it if I was working out of town.
Good luck!