The timed exposure will be handled by the lens f/stop in use, and the ISO level set, and the length of time the shutter is allowed to remain open. The FLASH part, to light you and the family, will be based on the aperture, and the ISO, and how far away the flash is at X power level. So....take a look at the flash's power/output information, and figure out how many feet away the flash needs to be at the f/stop you use for the timed exposure...
You can fire the flash with it on the camera, or with an assistant holding the flash off-camera and manually pressing the flash's "test" button. The exposures you made last night look pretty good overall.