Ok...I need your input again

[NikonNewbie]

My husband did get me that lens, and I have to tell you...I am happier then a pig in ****, which leads me to believe that when I save up enough money for the VR and an ever better lens I'm going to probably die from a Stroke from too much joy

Now...same guy also has a Speedlight SB-16, would this help me with my lighting issues I'm having? Ive been reading up on a DIY Bounce card and Flag and I've seen samples of it, I'm just wondering if I'm taking pics indoors or outdoors...if I use it off the camera (i saw an example where the guy shot it at the ceiling and it bounced down) will it make a big enough difference?
I find that alot of my photos taken outside look blown out from the flash, but when I turn the flash off, they are too stinkin dark.
I tried shooting in NEF but when I got back here to view them photoshop....it said it couldnt open the file...I was able to open it in Picassa, so I asked hubs to download me a plugin for Raw as someone suggested to me, but that has yet to happen, he did get me viveza...a trial but I since I dont have any manual to work with I'm not really getting anywhere. the only reason Im telling you all this now is because I have a feeling someone is going to tell me that if I shoot in RAW I can correct most mistakes that the flash is making, or vice versa.
Thanks for the input in advance.