The customer is always right!

[Rob]

I know there's quite of few of us here who work with the general public and internal customers who have Id-10-t issues... However my record call which left me speechless went something this:

Me: "Networks and Systems"
CEO: "My blackberry isn't working properly"
Me: "What seems to be the trouble?"
CEO: "When I go through a tunnel, it won't surf the internet"
Me: "Ah, that's because there's no mobile phone signal in the tunnel"
CEO: "No it isn't"
Me: "Erm..."
CEO: "Because it lets me keep talking on the phone"
Me: "It needs the letters GSM, gprs or GPRS to be on the screen to work"
CEO: "Well it doesn't have those letters"
Me: "It doesn't have enough signal to surf the internet in tunnels then"
CEO: "How are you going to fix this?"
Me: "Ah... It's a little outside my ability to rectify this"
CEO: "I don't care, just fix it"
Me: "I'm afraid that isn't going to be possible"
CEO: "Fix it.... *click*"

So this CEO actually wanted me to install mobile phone repeaters in every tunnel on the train journey into work... Yeah... feasible!!

So what's your best story from work idiots?

Rob

 

[lostprophet]

So what's your best story from work idiots?
Rob

How long you got???

One of my favorites is when someone asks for a filter for the Nikon such n such camera, top of the range, and we ask what lens is the filter for and they say "the one that came with it, its top of the range"

good thing to do in jessops is ask them for a bipod as its twice as stable as a monopod or ask them for a kodak disc film back for your 'blad
gets them everytime

 

[Arch]

yea i got a load of these, heres one i had the other day with a printers about printing two banners which were suppose to line up when next to each other;

printers: the artwork you supplied is the wrong size...

me: oh really how come?

printers: our rip software will cut the edge off, so its not 750mm wide

me: well iv got it here at 1600% magnified and its bang on 750mm

printers: well the two banners wont match if its cropped.... you must have done it wrong....

me: erm..... im not sure what i can do.... im at maximum magnification.... and the measurements are exactly right....

printers: they cant be..... we get problems for you designers all the time..... you've done it wrong....

me: but they are right...... i could write to adobe and tell them thier software is wrong if you want.....

Printers: well, we cant print this unless its right...

meanwhile my client is getting mad and tells me to effing get a taxi to the printers and sort it out.....

.....when i get there they're using some lame a$$ outdated rip software for thier printers....... i checked with another printer..... they said they wounldnt use that software its 'rubbish'........ and it was cutting 20mm off the side of the design.... i had to make my artwork wrong to make it print right... to this day the client still blames me for the mistake, as he likes using this printers for all his stuff.....

some people are born stupid and there's no cure.

 

[benhasajeep]

I work for an airline as a maintenance inspector. One day a flight attendant asked "what keeps the plane in the air in the holding pattern"?

There was about 3 of us standing there and we were so dumfounded that we could not even laugh.

And yes she was a blond!

 

[kristyiclaremore]

I work for a Gas Station and I was outside changing the trash, this lady (over 30 under 40yrs old) yells at me to come over there I get there and she tells me the gas nozzle wont fit in here tank. I look at it and she is trying to put the diesel nozzle in her car. I told her that was the diesel and she said oh and asked me which pump was regular unleaded and I pointed at the nozzle next to the diesel and said they all have diesel and regular you use the red one for the regular and the green one for diesel.

Also one day I had a young lady come in to prepay for gas, She wanted $20 on pump 2 then I preset it for here and she went outside to pump gas. She then came back in and ask me how to use the pump. I had to completely explain in child-like terms how to pump gas into her car. Then about two weeks or more later the same girl came in and asked me how come the diesel sign on her pump kept flashing and why she couldn’t turn the regular on. I went out there and she had the diesel nozzle in here car.
This girl makes me so mad because she is about 19 maybe a little older and doesn’t know how to fill her brand new car up with gas. Why does she even have a car? I wonder if she knows red means stop. I wonder if her parents ever made her do anything.

 

[treehuggerhikerboy]

i'm just personally relieved that I'VE never asked a dumb question before. Whew!

 

[summers_enemy]

This girl makes me so mad because she is about 19 maybe a little older and doesn’t know how to fill her brand new car up with gas. Why does she even have a car? I wonder if she knows red means stop. I wonder if her parents ever made her do anything.

I bought myself a brand new car when I was 18...no idea how to put gas in it. The first time I had to fill it up I brought friends with me. :mrgreen:

 

[magicmonkey]

I bought myself a brand new car when I was 18...no idea how to put gas in it. The first time I had to fill it up I brought friends with me. :mrgreen:

Yeah, same here, I did manage to get it right the second time though!

 

[LaFoto]

When over in the States in 1998, I went to San Antonio with the hire car while my husband was doing business in Victoria, and I had to fill the tank somewhere on the way ... and did not know why it wouldn't fill, either!
I must have been one of those very stupid customers at the time, for I simply did not realise I had to lower a lever before the petrol would flow. All I did was what I usually do here, and that was not enough. An eye-rolling assistent had to come out and show me ... I did FEEL dumb enough then, too! (I had been too convinced I need not read all the instructions on the pump, it would certainly be the same as in Germany. Oops. Wrong. )

 

[Xmetal]

Had one today

Me: Harvey Norman Computers, Ian speaking.

Them: Yes i've got a HP printer I bought off you yesterday and it won't print in colour.

Me: Ok, have you inserted the cartridges into the printer as shown in the manual?

Them: Yes and they had these strange orange strips on them, am I supposed to peal those off before putting the cartridges in the printer?

Me: Yes you do because they are there to protect the head while the printer is in the box, you are supposed to remove them before putting the cartridges in the printer.

Them: oh...okay then, thanks very much. *click*

I then wander over to one of the techo's "*sacastic voice* Yo Adam are you supposed to take the orange strips off the cartridge heads before you put them into the printer?"

We both laughed.

 

[ThomThomsk]

I know there's quite of few of us here who work with the general public and internal customers who have Id-10-t issues...

Sounds very familiar. I work in the internal IT group of a very large firm of accountants, where Partners do that sort of thing from time to time.

We had one on Friday - 5.40pm, Partner wants to go home, can't access email server or replicate mail onto his laptop. We outsource first line support, so whoever took the call (who had probably only got off the plane from Australia or South Africa that morning) didn't appreciate that although Partners aren't god, they expect to be treated as if they are. By the time the call was escalated to my boss (Friday, about 6.30pm) the Partner was incandescent with rage, and had gone home.

Anyway, it ended up with my boss telling the guy that he couldn't change the rules because it pleased him, that he had to give the helpdesk the chance to talk him through the problem, and no he wasn't going to send someone around to the Partner's house in Chiswick that evening with a new laptop unless he could come up with a convincing reason why a client would suffer if he didn't.

Monday morning, Partner comes in, switches on laptop, problem has miraculously disappeared. Funny that.

 

[bace]

Yeah, same here, I did manage to get it right the second time though!

Wow.

I have no sympathy for either of you. Pumping gas isn't exactly rocket science. All the pumps that I've been too have really easy diagrams RIGHT ON THE PUMP.

 

[magicmonkey]

Wow.

I have no sympathy for either of you. Pumping gas isn't exactly rocket science. All the pumps that I've been too have really easy diagrams RIGHT ON THE PUMP.

Yeah well, I was young, what can I say


Anyway, I've had one all day, not from customers but from the new guy who has started working here. Todays classic was 'are these sequence numbers Sequencial?' I almost laughed at him but had to hold it in, next time he's for it though!

I should add that he was also looking at a list of numbers in sequence, I don't think he'll last that long!!

 

[LaFoto]

I admit to having been nervous and quite, quite self-conscious the first time I ever when to a petrol station to fill in petrol, the first time I ever opened the hood myself to check on oil, the first time I ever took a car to the car wash ... all those "firsts" were accompanied by a bit of nerves and most of all self-consciousness...

But I hope I have never been a silly customer anywhere, so that people talked about me on international message boards ... THAT would be really embarrassing...

 

[Soocom1]

This one actually happened to my wife how worked for a certain on line provider that will not be named, but who's name starts with an A.

Yes this conversation actually took place.

Anyway, the conversation went sort of like this:

Wife: "Thank you for calling ***** how may I help you?"

Caller: "You owe me a new cat"

Wife: "Excuse me ma'am?"

Caller: "you killed my cat!"

Wife: "Ma'am, how did ***** kill your cat?"

Caller: "I called about an hour ago and had a problem with my ability to get onto the internet. So the girl who helped me told me that I had to clean my hard drive"

Wife: "OK."

Caller: "So I took the computer, and put into the tub, filled up the tub with water and my cat jumped in and was electrocuted. So you killed my cat and you owe me a new one..."