What to do on an airplane when you find yourself seated next to a real jerk: 1. Take out your laptop. 2. Slowly open your laptop. 3. Turn it on. 4. Make certain your neighbor is watching. 5. Open your Internet browser. 6. Close your eyes for a few moments. 7. Open your eyes and look up to the the heavens while mumbling incoherently. 8. Breathe deeply and open this site: http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html 9. Look at the expression on your neighbor's face. 10. Sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight.