critique please:)

Discussion in 'General Critical Analysis' started by Mere, Aug 7, 2007.

  1. Mere

    Mere TPF Noob!

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    This is one of a series entitled "Sunday Morning"

    1.[​IMG]
     
  2. Mere

    Mere TPF Noob!

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    Come on guys.. you've got nothing for me? i know you do....give me some feedback
     
  3. The Phototron

    The Phototron TPF Noob!

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    The dad's completely dominating the baby. Maybe it would be interesting to have the baby awake and dad dormant, so both character have something attractive about them. Or crop it carefully to stress a relationship.
     
  4. LaFoto

    LaFoto Just Corinna in real life Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Cute as this scene is, and there is no doubt about its cuteness, since your little one is sooooooooo sweet, I am terribly distracted by your husband's armpit hair. Sorry. This is the first I see and don't like to see and I cannot but look there. It totally distracts me from what you really meant to capture and show.

    I did the "screen-cropping" with a sheet of paper and tried to visualise what the photo might look like without your husband's left arm (here on the right), since his fingers got cropped off, anyway. If you make the right border immediately behind his head, it does not even look like the dreaded "crop through a joint" (here of his shoulder).

    Along with that crop, I would then (this is always subjective!) also get rid of the bit of blinds at the top. Make it a bit of a "miracle" where the light came from that lights up this scene. Why show the source?

    And when you have come that far in your cropping ("my" cropping suggestion it is), you will suddenly find there are too many distracting elements in the dark part on the left, and you might consider cropping even closer into the scene.

    And suddenly you might have a photo that shows what you REALLY mean to show: this absolutely cute scene of father and really small baby (no wonder the dad seems to dominate the baby, he is much bigger, but without his extended left arm in the photo it might look less so!) and their leisurely lie-in of a sunny Sunday morning.
     
  5. craig

    craig TPF Noob!

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    My parents would say "patience is a virtue..."

    Love the photo! Nicely diffused light. The overhead angle seems appropriate because they are both in a lovely sleep. Kind of like an angel looking down on them. His arms are positioned nicely. And of course the critter tucked in their is darling. I would like to see the whole series.

    I would try a tighter crop on the right. Not sure we need to see all the pillows. I wold also like to see his fingers at the top. The exposure seems good. Only problem is that one part of the pillow is super hot. The print is probably gorgeous.

    Love & Playa
     
  6. The_Traveler

    The_Traveler Completely Counter-dependent Supporting Member

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    As with other responders, I think a tighter crop would eliminate the excess unneeded stuff and bring the focus down more on the child and the child'd interaction with the dad.


    [​IMG]
     
  7. Mere

    Mere TPF Noob!

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    Thanks for the input guys...what do you think of this?

    [​IMG]
     
  8. meotter

    meotter TPF Noob!

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    i think i'd crop more still on the right side... to the point of removing the shadow of his armpit... something closer to what the traveler posted as a crop.

    also at this size, the image looks a little soft.
     
  9. craig

    craig TPF Noob!

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    Like I say. I would not go too drastic because I really enjoy what his arms are doing. Maybe something along these lines.

    Love & Playa

    [​IMG]
     
  10. elsaspet

    elsaspet TPF Noob!

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    Ignore the above.
    The arm makes the whole photo. The room on the right only ads to it.
    I think it's killer for what it's worth.
    Please, please, please don't change a thing, and enter it in every contest it qualifies for.
    Hugs.
     
  11. Mere

    Mere TPF Noob!

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    THANKS!
     
  12. nomade

    nomade TPF Noob!

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    I like it as it is, the armpit is a natural position for a sleeper, it's not the perfect crop, but the thing is, some photographs doesn't need to be neat to be beautiful, it's great as it is.

    Such a moment is unforgettable and really touching, the way the dad's arm is around the little precious one, protecting him, while he's deeply sleeping, showing the natural instincts of fatherhood.

    Of course retouches, such as a closer crop, ignoring some items that are not necessary, like on the left side, that part of the "comodino" and stuff on it...
     

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