Devil's Dictionary

[Battou]

Ballhead, Quick Release, Hot Shoe Belonging to a category of terms which cannot be discussed here

Dammit you got me there

 

[Battou]

Technical Photography - the art of taking photographs by knowing more about the camera than how to photograph.

 

[Hertz van Rental]

This thread seems to lack the cynicism of the original Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce.
So breathing new life into the corpse...

Amateur Photographer
Someone who seeks to excuse their lack of knowledge about the subject by claiming they only do it for fun.

Professional Photographer
An amateur photographer who believes that they now know all about photography because they get money for doing it.

Digital Photography
A method of taking pictures that requires no more brain cells than can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Hence the use of the word 'digital'.

Photoshop
The modern equivalent of the Philosopher’s Stone believed by many to be a way of turning garbage into gold.

Photography
A means of producing life-like images for people with no artistic talent but with lots of artistic pretensions.

Camera
A box with a hole in it that some believe to be magical.

Professional Camera
An expensive box with a hole in it that some believe to be the Holy Grail.

Alternative Processes
The manual equivalent of Photoshop.

Ego
A quality akin to self-importance possessed by both amateur and professional photographers that increases in size exponentially with the amount of equipment owned, whilst being in inverse proportion to their talent.

Composition
The Rule of Thirds.

 

[Yemme]

This thread is hilarious... Keep em coming!:lmao:

*Gets out notepad and pen*

Second Shooter- A wedding photographer’s *****.

GWC- a) Guy With Camera
b) One who poses as a photographer in order to photograph nude or semi-nude women and then masturbates to his own portfolio.

 

[Moglex]

F-Stop - Something someone should say to Noobs about sharpening.

 

[Moglex]

Darkroom Place to go and lie down after wrestling for hours with Paintshop trying to optimise your digital printing.

 

[Yemme]

Natural Light Photographer -- Photographer who can't afford off camera flash.

:lmao: That would be me.

 

[icassell]

sync cord -- used to open the drain

 

[Hawaii Five-O]

RAw - radically awful whitebalance

Jpeg - justify pursuing envisioned G.A.S

 

[THORHAMMER]

Net Trolls - (or Forum Underpass Lurkers)

Where people make up make believe dictionaries to try to figure out subjects that are over their heads.



Come on, if you can laugh at the other ones, you can surely laugh at yourselves !!! muhahahahaha..

 

[Meysha]

Blur / Blurry (used when critiquing a photo) - Your photos must never ever have blur. If they have blur anywhere they are bad photos.

Camera Strap - Besides the colour of your lens and the size of the lens, the camera strap is the next best indicator of penis size. Note: Inversely proportional.

 

[deudeu]

Macro photography: type of photography that is produced by people that are too old or lazy to get out of their garden.

 

[bigalbest]

Man this is some funny stuff, most of it even applies to me.

 

[tron]

fisheye-see 'myspace'

 

[saltface]

Sepia: Technique used to mask bad/incorrect lighting.

Dawn: Not to be confused with sunrise; The time wherein the sky gets lighter, thereby ruining a six-hour star trails shot, even though you woke up at 5:00am.