Sigh Taking Photos for Family

rexbobcat · Jul 14, 2015

This has been a topic of discussion in business threads before, but I thought I'd vent just a little bit elsewhere...

I have family coming in tomorrow...Well...sort of. They're family by marriage. I have been nominated as the designated photographer. Now, normally this wouldn't be a big deal. I would take photos regardless since they have a new baby and they don't get down often. I love family candids/snapshots.

However, they want a legit family portrait session...at nine in the morning...at my apartment...in an area I just moved to...

I was actually in the car while they were discussing what time they want their free photos taken without my input. "He's going to have to take lots of photos because no telling how the baby is going to be acting tomorrow." Awesome. I can't wait to spend 3 hours compositing baby heads.

This seems to happen a lot with weddings, but have any of y'all ever been in a situation where a family member expected you to be THE photographer at the expense of just getting to enjoy your time with them?

tirediron · Jul 14, 2015

You're lucky!

rexbobcat · Jul 14, 2015

tirediron said:
You're lucky!

Haha how do you figure?

tirediron · Jul 14, 2015

If this is the first/only time it's happened, count your blessings. You're getting off lightly.

DanOstergren · Jul 14, 2015

If you don't want to do it, tell them. If they want family portraits, they should have to hire you. Just because they're your in-laws doesn't give them the right to use you.

rexbobcat · Jul 14, 2015

tirediron said:
If this is the first/only time it's happened, count your blessings. You're getting off lightly.

Heh, well it's happened once before but it was a little less egregious since the family member had already paid for photos from someone else and they turned out awful, so there was a bit of a precedent.

rexbobcat · Jul 14, 2015

DanOstergren said:
If you don't want to do it, tell them. If they want family portraits, they should have to hire you. Just because they're your in-laws doesn't give them the right to use you.

I've considered it. Maybe it's just a part of Southern convention. When a family member asks for something that isn't otherwise interfering with something you're doing, it's almost taboo to decline. If I was with a large crowd of immediate family it would be different but it's going to be 7 of them and 2 of us so I'm mostly doing it to keep the peace. I'm either going to have to spend an hour taking photos or spend all day trying to act like I didn't just reject what is perceived to be an innocuous request from a group of people I will have recurring contact with. :icon_neutral:

chuasam · Jul 15, 2015

rexbobcat said:
DanOstergren said:

If you don't want to do it, tell them. If they want family portraits, they should have to hire you. Just because they're your in-laws doesn't give them the right to use you.

Click to expand...

I've considered it. Maybe it's just a part of Southern convention. When a family member asks for something that isn't otherwise interfering with something you're doing, it's almost taboo to decline. If I was with a large crowd of immediate family it would be different but it's going to be 7 of them and 2 of us so I'm mostly doing it to keep the peace. I'm either going to have to spend an hour taking photos or spend all day trying to act like I didn't just reject what is perceived to be an innocuous request from a group of people I will have recurring contact with.

Maybe sure you get a favour from them of equivalent value.

jaomul · Jul 15, 2015

I could be wrong here, but as someone who likes photography I am thinking you probably don't mind the gig, but don't like it was set up without your imput. Am I correct? if not disregard the rst of my post.

It would annoy me to bits when someone just expects something from me without a propoer discussion. I am actually very flexible and don't mind doing these type of things at all, but set it up without my knowing and you can expect a non show from me

Gary A. · Jul 15, 2015

My father was a politician. I was taking pro bono campaign photos for decades.

Overread · Jul 15, 2015

You think you've got problems now - you just wait till the actual shoot and they expect those "dozens of photos" to be taken within around 5 seconds. 3 hours? 3 hours and they'll rate you a failed photographer for taking that long to just get one or two photos - even if they've all been nightmares the whole time.

Just make sure your gear is setup before otherwise they'll also get all fidgety during that too.
And remember there's always one joker who just HAS to do things differently to what you say

zombiesniper · Jul 15, 2015

Based on you're website, I'm guessing you're a pro, or at least expect to be paid photographer. This puts you in a different situation than a hobbyist like myself but I do have experience with this type of devaluing a skill.

I used to work welding and inevitably when a family member would "NEED" something welded they would come over with the job and expect it to be done "well, quick and free". I always gave them the first one. Then I would show up wherever they worked and expect a similar deal. Uncle is a lawyer? I "NEED" a contract done in the next hour. Aunt works at the grocery store? This weeks groceries are free.

Yes they're going to think you're nuts but once they saw that they were taking food off of my table they understood that I'll give them the same discount that they give me.

Sometimes you just can't be the nice guy.

Buckster · Jul 15, 2015

A little quid pro quo goes a long way toward better understanding.

Before you even start the shoot, let them know you're looking forward to getting free services from them for whatever THEY do for their living or hobby or area of experience, and tell them the date and time you'd like them to make that happen. Be sure to thank them.

mmaria · Jul 15, 2015

rexbobcat said:
This seems to happen a lot with weddings, but have any of y'all ever been in a situation where a family member expected you to be THE photographer at the expense of just getting to enjoy your time with them?

well....
no...
it helps that I don't do this for a living

and..

most of my family don't know about me and photography... well... they'll know now because I started fb page...

but... I don't talk about photography with my family nor I bring the camera when I'm going on some family gatherings, visits or similar.

Designer · Jul 15, 2015

rexbobcat said:
.. have any of y'all ever been in a situation where a family member expected you to be THE photographer at the expense of just getting to enjoy your time with them?

Coincidentally, it is coming this Saturday. I have been asked to take a group photo of our family "with a backdrop". I said; "Sure, I own a wide roll of paper."

(Wifey not fully understanding the significance of that) "Maybe you can order a real backdrop online." I said; "The paper is a real backdrop." "And it is as wide as the dining room."

Our dining room contains a large table, 8 chairs, a sofa, an easy chair, and several smaller tables and various lamps, and other furniture, most of which will have to be moved someplace. The length of the room is just long enough to get the end of the room in the frame using a 50mm lens.

I own two lights and shoot-through umbrellas, and I know that it will take me some time to get the lights set up. So Saturday I get to move a bunch of furniture, set up my lights, find some posing stools, get the tripod set up, and get the camera set, all the while not knowing at this time when the family is due to arrive.

Then I get to try to get them all (including unruly children) to cooperate.

So yeah.