I would go with the D90, the 18-105, an SB600, and a 50mm 1.8. That would cover about 80% of normal shooting conditions for most photographers. From there, a tripod, and either an 80-200 2.8 or the 70-300 VR would just about round out the kit. Once you've mastered that, you won't have to ask what your next upgrade should be. You will know where you need more performance and what other options you want available.
Oh, and stay away from Ken Rockwell until get a bit further along in your photography journey. He has some good stuff to say, but he also fully admits that the website is for his and his cats' entertainment only, that he reviews stufff without using it, and that he flat out makes stuff up for entertainment. I believe that is all on his about me page. Not exactly a good resource for somebody starting out.