A question for the ladies

Scott WRG Editor · Nov 19, 2004

Just curious but realized that this question might help some of us introverted goobers.

What was your best first date with a guy/girl/transgender individual?
What did they do that impressed you?

carlita · Nov 19, 2004

this just made me realize how unremarkable my dates have been.

there was one guy i met at a restaurant where he was working. it was one of those places where they have paper covering the tables and you can draw on it with these crayons they give you. i complained to him (he was our waiter) that their selection of colors left much to be desired. one of my friends ended up writing my number on the table and as we were leaving he approached me and asked if it would be alright if he called me. i said sure.

so when we went out we went back to that same restaurant for dessert (they have this really incredible cheesecake with hot fudge all over it *dies*). when we got there he handed me a bag and when i looked inside i found a box of crayola crayons. 96 colors to choose from. :bounce:

so it wasn't an incredibly fantastic date or anything, but it sure was cute.

and he'd clearly been paying attention. ;-) that's always good.

Vancouver · Nov 19, 2004

a tip from a guy.

don't call women ladies. doesn't always go over well.

Scott WRG Editor · Nov 19, 2004

Vancouver said:
a tip from a guy.

don't call women ladies. doesn't always go over well.

Heh, the other names work even worse...

oriecat · Nov 19, 2004

Say, Yo beeatches...

Umm, I don't mind ladies so much in this context. Although when told something I did or said wasn't very ladylike, I have been known to say I never claimed to be a lady...

I can't really think of much right now that would help the question in question.

I will tell you something a guy did once that completely bugged me... it was a personals ad blind date kinda thing, and it went well enough. No major sparks, no major turn offs, coulda gone either way until at the very end, saying goodbye, I say thanks and go to shake his hand and he forces a hug on me. :| Dude, we just met and I didn't invite you to invade my personal space.

Unfortunately my best first date happened a couple days after we had a drunken multi hour make out fest, so a lot of the typical first date problems were already taken care of.

Alison · Nov 19, 2004

Hmmmmm....I can't think of a "date" per se, but more the little things. Taking time out of your day to do something special-bring her lunch at work, etc.

Generally, just show her that you enjoy being with her. If you have a common interest try to plan your date around that

I've never been a big fan of a movie on the first date because you can't really talk to the person.

oriecat · Nov 19, 2004

Agreed. Movies are terrible early dates, unless you have already determined you're not interested and want to kill some time without speaking.

photong · Nov 19, 2004

Don't call us females either. I HATE THAT...just girl, or women for me is fine.

I haven't had many first dates. Even with the guy I'm with now and have been for 5 years. I don't really remember, except just talking and being comfotable. I don't remmeber anything else like door opening, etc...we'll see.

treehuggerhikerboy · Nov 19, 2004

I wasn't aware of any introverted folks on here :lol:

I think a biggie is just trying to be yourself, and at the same time making her feel comfortable. The last few that I've been on, even though there wasn't a romantic connection, I was told how comfortable I make them feel...which was cool. And just listening is a big thing, along with trying to get to know them better to see where they get their perspectives and ideas from.

Crap, didn't mean to go Dr. Phil on you, sorry.

Scott WRG Editor · Nov 19, 2004

treehuggerhikerboy said:
I wasn't aware of any introverted folks on here

I think a biggie is just trying to be yourself, and at the same time making her feel comfortable. The last few that I've been on, even though there wasn't a romantic connection, I was told how comfortable I make them feel...which was cool. And just listening is a big thing, along with trying to get to know them better to see where they get their perspectives and ideas from.

Crap, didn't mean to go Dr. Phil on you, sorry.

Heh, no problem. I'm a reformed introvert for the most part. 15-20 years ago you would have thought I was autistic if you met me IRL. One of my dearest friends told me the other day that when she first met me 15 years ago I wouldn't talk, now I won't shut up.

I've got the listening and comfort thing down pretty well, to the point that my female friends say I'm like a heterosexual gay man :shock: and if it wasn't for the fact that I was always propositioning them they would have thought I was gay. Now thats something to boost the male ego :roll:

Back to the question at hand I was just curious because I tend to screw up first dates. My relationships usually start from friendships first and progress from there, usually downhill

Though with one exception our friendships remained intact and actually grew somewhat for the experience.

Alison · Nov 19, 2004

That can be hard. Relationships should be build on a friendship I think, but there are some that should have just remained friends.

Here's what I think Scott, when the right person comes along it will just be right. No doubts, no worrying, no thinking about it at all.

Geronimo · Nov 20, 2004

You mean giving them a bag with rubbers, a motel key, and alochol and saying " Be ready to go" is not the best way to start a relationship? Damn it.

Actually I like to do something off the wall. Hell you are going to do something with this person why not take a different approach then the usual first date experiences. Nothing extreme, unless that is your thing, just different.

Hertz van Rental · Nov 20, 2004

My most interesting first date: We went to a restaurant. I didn't know she had a pet rat, or had brought it with her, until it appeared over her shoulder and fell down her cleaveage! What a night that was.....