What are you focusing on in the images? I mean this literally. Where are you putting the focus point the camera is using? If you are on auto and it is selecting the focus point (my guess is that is what is happening), then the camera might pick his shoe, a tree, the fence, etc. That would explain the randomness to the focus in these shots.
There are different ways to handle focusing (some people love to use the center point and focus recompose and others pick the closes AF point to the thing they want in focus, for portraits that is generally the closest eye, and use that point) so play around with that.
I think you have a "style" people will buy and you generally have a grasp on framing the shot. Whether a bunch of photographers like the processing or whatever is almost irrelevant. Do parents and high school seniors like it? That's who you are selling to. Just get the focus and lighting (and/or post processing) dialed in and I think you could get some clients.