An Aquatic Stile Portrait for Critique of my Son.

vipgraphx

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My son had his promotion Yesterday and I took a few photos of him before the ceremony. I used my Sb700 off camera flash and set it down on the right side of him which would be camera left I think.... I used the soft box filter that it came with and set it at an angle. I had a look I was going for when I composed this shot. It was a 5:30pm sun coming in from the left side which would be camera right I think... I do not consider this a black and white but more of a cool aquatic. Looking at it, I think of a mans cologne advertisement but, that is just me....When I processed this I was going for a somewhat high key look without it being to blown out. I wanted his facial expression to be serious with a don't mess with me vibe. . I also did not want a super super sharp image especially with this look I was going for.

I tried to keep in mind all the past advice that people gave to me and yet I still managed to get a corner line coming out from his head but, because the background is nice a washed out I don't think it hurts this image to bad but, I should have placed him more to the right or moved myself to the left.

I used the 70-200 vrII and tried to get it as close to possible with no crop in photoshop. I will admit I took a little off the top of his head and not sure if more was needed or if I got it just right.

What could I have done better. Please feed back thanks!!!


Isaiah crossed processed by VIPGraphX, on Flickr
 
Firstly nice image, and not too much I would change.

The right side of the image (either due to the sun or the flash, I can't quite work out what it was!) is a little blown out (particularly on the shirt collar) if it was the flash, I would move it a little further away, or if you have a white wall that you can bounce the flash off, do so. With this sort of image you want all the lighting as soft as possible. Alternatively, if you have a reflector (the 5in1 type) that has a translucent white core, you can use that as a shoot through diffuser.

As for the composition, I would have his face higher up, and slightly to the right, so that his left eye (the one on the right side of the image) fell on a point where the thirds cross.

Anyway, nice photo!
 
The thread title is, "An Aquatic Stile Portrait..." Do you mean "Style" or "Still"? Sorry - stuff like this bothers my inner editor.

Anyway.. I see a number of overexposed areas. The diagonal lines and the Polo logo are minor distractions. I'd try to light up his eyes more - get a little more pop in there. Overall, though, it's a good photo, imo. I like the intensity in your son's expression.
 
It's meant to be over exposed some..that's kinda what I was going for. And oops Yeah "style", sorry it's late.
 
I like it, but think it would benefit from some blacks. I'm not seeing any true black in there and the contrast would help it out.
 
I don’t see the diagonals or the Polo logo distracting at all. As stated, personally, I would like to see a little more contrast or an increase in blacks, however, you stated that this look is what you were going for and I like it a lot as it is. It's your picture and your style (or "stile" ;)). Good job!
 
..... I used my Sb700 off camera flash and set it down on the right side of him which would be camera left I think.... I used the soft box filter that it came with and set it at an angle.....
Likely the culprit for the harsh shadow coming off his shirt collar underneath the chin, which is in opposition to your main light. Methinks had you placed the SB700 on camera right, slightly off & slightly higher than lens axis, the transition of shadows would have been much more gradual.

It appears that he is standing at an entranceway into a brick building. Had he taken half a step or so to his right, this would've positioned him as to avoid having the corner of the brick wall extending from his head (in the recessed entrance).

Handsome young fellow and I like his haircut. Thanks for sharing.
 
I think of posters in my mom's beauty shop when I was a kid in the early 90s...there were a lot of pictures styled that way. I get the cologne ad too. Maybe if there were more contrast, it would help with that.
 
Thanks for the feedback. I am taking the kids on a photo shoot soon and will really try to remember about things coming out from the head.

I wonder if I had another sb700 and placed it on the opposite side if that shadow would have disappeared?

Kundalini- you are right he was at the entrance of his school. There was somewhat of a decent setting with a tree in the background. I took a few pictures and this one happened to be the one I liked because of his facial expression. He was mad at me because I would not let him go out of town with his friend. His other pictures looked sad and fake but, I went with the mood anyways and it worked in this one.

here is one that has levels adjusted and slight contrast

Isaiah crossed processed 2 by VIPGraphX, on Flickr


this is the original edit in color.


isaiah 1a by VIPGraphX, on Flickr
 
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