It's hard for me to explain things, but I'll try. Think of it like a balance. On one side we have aperture, on the other we have shutter speed. We need to get these two things to a point where our balance sits nice and equal. How we modify each depends on what we are shooting. If I am shooting sports, my shutter speed is going to be my priority over aperture. So, first I would adjust my shutter speed to what I need. Then, I would adjust aperture accordingly, so that my balance is equal. You will need to compromise in some situations. Sometimes there is just not enough light to have optimal settings on both. If I was shooting an object such as a flower, where I Depth of Field was very important to me and fast shutters are not crucial, aperture would be set first and then shutter adjusted accordingly.
It's not something you can really put a mold to and say "use this all the time." A general way to think about it is this, as shutter goes up, aperture goes down. If you have a fast shutter speed, you will need a low aperture to allow plenty of light in. The reverse applies. If you have tons of light coming in through the lens, the shutter doesn't need to be open as long, hence a faster shutter speed.
Another more real-life comparison would be a damn. You can control two things when letting the water through. How big the opening is, and how long we leave it open. If we have a certain amount of water we want to get through, we need to adjust these accordingly. The bigger the opening, the less time it needs to be open. The smaller the opening, the more time we will need to get our appropriate amount. Other factors apply but this is a simple shutter/aperture comparison.
Hope these descriptions help.
Eric.