The tilt isnt working for me here. I dont mind tilt, I actually like it in many images, but this type of image seems to be working with lines and symetry, and by tilting the image, it breaks that making it look awkward.
There is a big variation in contrast between the lower left half (very dark) and the upper right half (very bright, blown out). A bit more even exposure would of helped, although this could of been caused by the scene itself. This is where HDR photography can come into play, where you could take 3 images at 3 exposure levels and merge them to 1. Doing a slight HDR and finding the right scene are key. You can then switch that HDR into a black and white. Might turn out.
Getting in a bit tighter on the tracks would help the composition. One thing my eye picked up on was the piece of branches on the upper left that is out of place and again works are breaking the symetry.
Looks like you found a nice place. Hopefully you can head back for a reshoot