The 2nd photo obviously looks way better. but very different. In the furute I'd say work really hard on getting them to keep the same position. The most critical people of your work will the the women they are trying to sell the makeup to. And I think that changing position is a big one. Of course the background, which is a dead horse and i wont beat it. In all honesty the photos are so different that its obvious that she is trying to look really bad, and, forgive me for saying, that feel kinda like an insult (as the makeup buyer{which I'm not, but I am a genenral consumer}) that I'm expected to believe that makeup did all that.
Your work is great, dont get me wrong, but the differences "from the makeup" need to be subtle, but easily noticed. You went from ugly betty to a glamour shot. I think its just a bit too much. Next time try to keep her closer to the same position, same smile and maybe do an extra shot as a close up for an extra "after" shot. It'll be a little easier to believe that its makeup and not the photographers superior lighting or editing skill