Break-up letter

I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden knome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which,
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area,
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over my best friend's favourite
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over my best friend's favourite chia-pet that I was
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over my best friend's favourite chia-pet that I was using to clean your
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over my best friend's favourite chia-pet that I was using to clean your
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over my best friend's favourite chia-pet that I was using to clean your butt hairs out of
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over my best friend's favourite chia-pet that I was using to clean your butt hairs out of the fryingpan of doom
 
I'm leaving you because only yesterday you ate the last of my brand new hampster Jack's cage liner paper. You didn't even bother brushing your teeth after eating, and before kissing my sister's boyfriend's aunt who stole my last boyfriend by cooking him delicious apple body paint, which she painted on the cieling.

Anyway, I digress. We decided not to have any pets because of your stupid allergy to furbies and other fuzzy figments of your imagination forevermore also known as farting of the brain - something you became aware of back in 1927 when you fell on a guitar. The guitar that you stole from Lynard Skynard, before their herpes outbreak became public and the chickens got blamed.

I really despise you and your purple PJs with the bottom cutout, who knows why, when you just wet the sheets last week whilst counting the number of teeth lost during your Oyster sexing exam. It's no wonder you have psychotic episodes. Maybe your Prozac pills were flushed away when you dream of chocolate covered snails out of the darkest pit of my childhood.

Let me turn now towards that unreasonable, freaky request you made while ducking under the covers last night. Honestly, what were you thinking?

It isn't enough that you feel that you have to argue with robert the garden gnome and steal his underwear while i water the plastic flowers that are growing from your fungal womanhood.

Speaking of which, you may recall my cream that you borrowed to remove the hair from that particular area, you know, the back. I'm afraid that you got it all over my best friend's favourite chia-pet that I was using to clean your butt hairs out of the frying pan of doom WHEN GANDALF THE GREY
 
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Remember September 11, 2001

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