Computer Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Jme, May 20, 2003.

  1. Jme

    Jme TPF Noob!

    May 6, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Southwest Washington
    A little computer humor to brighten your day.

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the
    computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
    (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
    industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
    industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to
    the gallon.”
    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: If GM had developed Technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
    new car.
    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
    would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
    shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
    continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart in which case you would have to
    reinstall the engine.
    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on
    only five percent of the roads.
    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
    all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
    warning light.
    7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?", before deploying.
    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
    out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
    handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
    9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to
    learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
    operate in the same manner as the old car.
    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

    I got a few laughs outta this one, hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
    Jme :Joker: Consider me the formal forum fascinater

  2. MDowdey

    MDowdey Guest


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