Dogberts New Ruling Class

[oriecat]

Every couple of months I get a newletter from Scott Adams. It's usually good for a few laughs...

INDUHVIDUAL QUOTES
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Here now, some quotes from Induhviduals, many of whom are allowed to operate motor vehicles, and have children, sometimes simultaneously.

"I don't want anybody stepping on anybody else's thunder."

"You can't pull the sheep over my eyes!"

"I'm thinking in my brain."

"What is that disease where if someone loses a lot of blood they just die?"

"Clean as a baby's bottom."

"I don't mean to take the steam out of your sails, but..."

"She has not seen one red dime from him."

"I used to be as sharp as a button."

"That'll put the monkey in your court."

"We don't want this project to snowball into a can of worms."

"... up the creek in a hand bag."

"It's best not to open that can of wax."

"Let's pair up into threes."

"I just thought myself into a corner."

"We really need to hang on to our coattails to ride the waves of change."

"That way I can kill two bricks with one stone."


TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS
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Here are some more true tales of Induhviduals, as reported by vigilant DNRC operatives in the field.

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I have to turn in my wife for a True Tales of Induhviduals. We live in the Colorado mountains and sometimes see bears on our property. Recently my wife asked if I knew how bears know when to hibernate. I said I thought it had to do with temperature, when it got too cold to be out wandering around. She suggested that the end of daylight savings time probably triggered hibernation. When I asked what that would have to do with it, she said, "The bears would notice it getting darker an hour earlier." I guess I didn't realize bears had clocks.

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My friend was standing with an Induhvidual at a crosswalk the other day when they heard the signals that indicate to the blind that it is safe to cross the street. The Induhvidual asked "What is that?" My friend said, "That's for the blind. The chirping sound indicates that it's safe to cross the street north to south. The cuckoo sound indicates that it's safe to cross east to west." The person looked at my friend and asked, "What do the deaf people do when they need to cross the street?"

 

[Big Mike]

The bears would notice it getting darker an hour earlier