Headline News just in for the Year 2035

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by nikon90s, May 22, 2004.

  1. nikon90s

    nikon90s TPF Noob!

    Jul 5, 2003
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    Kalispell, MT.
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    Headline News just in for the Year 2035.

    Ozone created by electric cars now number one health hazard.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.

    Spotted Owl Plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

    Results of 35 year study indicate that Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    New Federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered as weapons by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

    Florida voters still don't know how to use a Voting Machine

  2. mrsid99

    mrsid99 TPF Supporters Supporting Member

    Mar 8, 2003
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    Some things never change huh?

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