I say I say I say

[lostprophet]

I was in a posh restaurant and the waiter brought me my duck on a plate.

The duck looked at me and said:
"You're eyes are like diamonds and your presence fills me with joy."

I looked at the waiter and said:

"Waiter, I asked for aromatic duck.."



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Was putting some flowers on a grave the other day,when I saw 4 gravediggers carrying a coffin.

I passed the cemetery about 4 hours later and they were still carrying the coffin around.

I thought to myself,
"Those idiots have lost the plot!"

 

[ferny]

You, in a posh restaurant????

 

[Antarctican]

OMG, I did not see either of those punchlines coming. I especially like the second one.