is the depth of field suppose to be subtle?

Relevant as to close-up and macro work, yes. It is correct that focal length factors out of the DOF equations for macro/closeup photography. You just can't make that a blanket statement for DOF in general.
You are correct. I've done some double-checking with my 35mm lenses, and discovered my error. The macro calculator is fine for just that - but grossly conservative at normal distances. Thank you for educating me!

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