When you do something like clip off a little piece of a subject, it looks like it could be a mistake. The solution is to either not do that, or clip a lot. When we see something that might be a mistake we tend to think that is a mistake. If we see the same thing but done more thoroughly and loudly, we tend to assume it's deliberate.
I like this one ok, but I also don't get the clipped subject and the tonal range feels kind of flat. Maybe more black/dark tones? I feel like you want it to look dark?