Looking to get out of wedding Photography .... Thoughts Please!

[snerd]

I would absolutely meet with them and tell them I am not confident enough in my work, and that I do not want to ruin a very special moment in your lives. I'm recommending a wedding photographer who is much better than I am, and he will preserve your wedding memories in photographs you will cherish for the rest of your lives! Damned if I would want to be the so-so photographer that ruined their wedding pictures!

This is from a layman's point of view. I know nothing of contract law, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

 

[sscarmack]

This tells me that you are NOT charging enough for photographing weddings. If you were getting payed 2-3 times what you are now to photograph weddings would you still want to stop photographing them.

I don't care about the money. More money means higher expectations! It's the anxiousness when I don't get the shots because of circumstances both within and outside of my control.

THIS!!!! Don't get me wrong. I love making money. But I absolutely agree with this.

I've had ONE super big paying gig. I don't want another. Id rather take two smaller gigs than one huge one.

Bridezilla. Momzilla. You name it.


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[Derrel]

Thanks all for your opinions.
I would much prefer to get out of these weddings and stick to all other types of photography.
Being a perfectionist, and having mild anxiety and being a photographer do not mix well, LOL!

I'd have no problem finding someone else for them - Problem is that almost all other photographers (That I know and trust) charge 2-3 times than what I charge.

Maybe one of the benzodiazepines in a decent dose appropriate to your body weight/metabolism and anxiety levels could help alleviate or at least sublimate the anxiety, and allow you to focus more on the photographing with lowered anxiety levels. And no, I am not kidding, and not making light of the situation. I mean this totally seriously.

But yeah, weddings...I've shot them, and they are a PITA in many ways...all the prepping, checking of gear, the late groomsmen, the late MIL's, the late brides, the idiot florists who confuse St. Andrews with St. Iggy's...the drunken reception people...uggg.

 

[JoeW]

1. I haven't seen your photography. While it's possible you need to get better or improve your skills, I highly doubt that's the issue. You're not shooting your second wedding. You've got a number of shoots including working with other pros and done it for multiple weddings over 2 years. It's not that you can't improve, it's that I doubt that your skill is the primary issue here.

2. I've been a serious shooter for 43 years now. I have only shot weddings for good friends and not as the primary photographer...it was basically my gift to them. I am very experienced and I can tell you that I'm not cut out to shoot weddings as a primary business. A professional wedding photographer will tell you that while there is skill involved, the most critical pieces/competencies involve dealing with the brides and mother-in-laws. It's a unique skill set for a photographer and most of us aren't cut out for it OR even if we could do it, wouldn't enjoy it and would come to hate our art.

It sounds to me like it's not the photography issue, it's the client "dealing with a wedding" issue that's the big factor. Yeah, you sometimes have bad days. Yeah, you're honest enough to realize you don't always bring your "A" game or could improve. But it doesn't sound like those are the primary issues. It sounds like you still love photography but you just don't really enjoy the elements that go with shooting weddings...the organization, the client interaction, managing the expectations, dealing with people trying to get a bargain and expecting a gazillion edits, people making copies and cheating you out of income...all of the stuff that is part of being a wedding photographer.

If you can afford it financially, I suggest you walk away. You should enjoy your photography, not come to dread events you're shooting. I know a fair amount about shooting weddings--more than enough to know that I'd do terribly as a wedding photographer with that as my primary business. I'd start to piss off clients, I'd come to hate my camera and despise my art. The wedding photographers I know are very good photographers but they're outstanding and dealing with all the stuff that goes with shooting a wedding besides the shooting. Which is why I know I'd be no good at it and it sounds like you're the same way.

As to the post from the bride-to-be about not walking out, I think you have references you can give them. And what couple wants to know that they were your last client before you quit shooting b/c you didn't like doing weddings? Ugh. You want to deliver a good performance for the couples you're scheduled to shoot. And if you have started to hate doing this (shooting weddings) or at least dread it, then it's a mistake to stay with those gigs.

 

[imagemaker46]

You do the final two weddings and then wrap it up. If you are feeling anxious and stressed about shooting, it will really start to take a toll on your mental and physical wellbeing, I speak from great experience on this. Photography should be enjoyable. The only time I am stressed about it is when I'm not shooting. I calm down and relax once I have a camera in my hands. If it ever gets to the point where you don't look forward to shooting, it is time to, at the very least, take a long break from it.

 

[DepthOfFocus]

Thanks everyone for your kind and honest advice.

This last wedding I shot was far from my greatest, as such, left a very bad taste in my mouth. Most others I shot were really good actually (when the couples end up paying me extra, that's a good sign).

Any of the Not-so-good weddings/shots I've taken are all HUGE HUGE learning experiences and have taught me WHAT to do and WHAT NOT to do.

I"m going to continue with the 2 confirmed weddings, and second shoot throughout the rest of the summer. Based on how the last two go in September, I will then decide whether to take this on in 2015 or not !

With love,
DOF

 

[e.rose]

A... Oh my god A.

You CANNOT. effing back out on 2 weddings you are confirmed for. That is the WORST possible thing you could do to someone.

Suck it up and put on your big boy/girl pants.

I HATE weddings.

I will second shoot them, but I HATE weddings and I WILL. NOT. MAIN. SHOOT.

That being said I *used* to main shoot.

And by the time my last two weddings had rolled around, I already knew I wanted out, but I went and I did the best possible effing job that I could, and then after that I referred any and all weddings out (To a friend of mine... who in turn hires me as his second shooter. ).

Stop shooting weddings if you want, but you HAVE to keep the commitments you've already made, because otherwise you're just being a sh*tty person.

 

[rexbobcat]

Back out of the weddings to teach the bride and groom that sometimes married life sucks and things don't always work out as planned. They need to learn to deal with it as it comes.


Just kidding. Don't do that. Do what e.rose suggested for sure.

 

[DepthOfFocus]

Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.

 

[astroNikon]

Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

 

[e.rose]

Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.

Good. You can do it! :hug::

 

[frommrstomommy]

Again, Thanks for ALL Your advice!
I'm gonna finish the two weddings, put EVERY OUNCE of creativity and effort for them.

This was my vote. I didn't read many of the other responses.. kinda skimmed but yeah. I don't think I could bare to back out on people.. I'd feel SO guilty. Weddings are enough stress without having a flaky photographer to boot.

As a kinda side note.. it sorta kinda sounds to me like maybe you are just in a bit of a rut overall. I had a little debbie downer stage about two months ago where I just felt kinda stagnant as far as improvements went and just wasn't feeling it as much and a couple pep talks from photographer friends of mine really turned that around for me.