low self esteem

357magnum · Feb 22, 2007

yeah i got alot of low self esteem im so short, im 13 years old, 4 feet 6 inches tall and 70 pounds, i get bullied around, and my food taken away at lunch. im guessing there are alot of older people here, so when did everyone else start to grow, because i ahvent grown in forever

cherrymoose · Feb 22, 2007

I'm sorry to hear that. I have very low self esteem, too.

You know, I'm probably the only person who'd say this, but I think you're lucky.
I'm 14, 120 something pounds, and 5 feet 10 inches tall.
And itt's not very fun having people staring at you and asking to see your driver's liscence, or your Visa card, no matter how "great it is to be tall" ...heh.

loser101 · Feb 22, 2007

How tall are your parents?

LaFoto · Feb 23, 2007

My daughter (member "Sabine" on here) is 13 (going on 14 in April) and is only 5'3" or maybe 5'4" (we actually measure in cms) and hasn't grown considerably since she was 11 and she is very, very, VERY unhappy about it. But ... it is something that cannot be changed. It is something she will have to get used to and she'll have to live with - though many say that good swimmers need to be tall. But then she's never been a sprinter, and for the long distance you can actually be any size... so there. (But she keeps hoping she'll still grow at some point in time, too).

By the way, my brother was always very short and childlike until he was a good 14 years old and suddenly it all changed almost over night. So there is still hope for you, mostly so if you are a boy, magnum.

Oldfireguy · Feb 23, 2007

Don't put your self worth in the hands of others. It does not matter how old you are or what you do in life there are bullies everywhere. People who are bullies are the ones who have low self esteem and they act out the way they do so it does not show.

When I was 14 I was six foot tall and weighed 190 pounds. My parents prayed I would stop growing.

JohnMF · Feb 23, 2007

Hi Magnum. Most people experiece bullying at some point in their life, so you are not alone. I am 6 foot 6inches tall and i dont think a day has gone by in the last 25 years when someone has not commented on my height, not necessarily negitive things, but it still does end up giving you abit of a complex.

I know it's hard but you should try not to worry too much about your body shape and growing taller. You will find throughout life, that the most charismatic and beautiful people are always the ones who are comfortable in their own skin, not necessarily the most physically attractive. If you can learn to do that, you will also notice peoples attitude towards you will start to change too.

keep your chin up mate!

Alex_B · Feb 23, 2007

everyone who is above or below average in terms of size, weight, or whatever is likely to be bullied at some point in his life.

Bullying is usually a way for those people doing it, to compensate for their own low self-esteem. I know that might not help, but at least it helps understanding the situation.

Aquarium Dreams · Feb 23, 2007

Bullying is animal behaviour. Essentially the pack is treating Magnum like the omega animal (I mean, taking your food away--how much more primal does it get than that?). So let's say Magnum is the smallest animal in his pride. All the other lions pick on him and take his food away, deprive him of mates, etc, drastically reducing his chances for survival. The omega animal has a few choices: 1) Accept that he is the omega animal, and work it to his advantage as much as possible. 2) Find a pride of lions (one or two other lions will do if they're big enough) that will back him up and tear the other lions to shreds if they mess with him. 3) Make the lions think you are crazy (rabid) and they will all avoid you. 4) Bite them back, but be prepared to bite a few times, until they accept that you are no longer the omega animal.

Take heart, you are still young and growing and at 13, most people have issues. I wouldn't want to be 13 again, but it's like the King said, "Youth can be very embarrassing, but it's important to live it."

Keep in mind when considering any advice from me, that when I was 13, I chose option #3.

Peacemaker636 · Feb 23, 2007

Don't worry, I wasn't much taller at your age. I think at fourteen I was around 5 foot. Now, at fifteen, I'm almost 5'5" and I just started really growing a few months ago and it hasn't stopped. I learn to just take people's comments in stride. I don't mind how tall I am, so I don't really care what they say. Yeah, it's a little awkward at dances when you're date is taller than you but so what, it doesn't matter.
I'm sorry, but I can't really help you with the bullying. I've always been really athletic and well built, so no one's ever really messed with me. My advice is maybe to go out for swimming, start doing pushups and situps each day, maybe start lifting weights...

EBphotography · Feb 23, 2007

You still have plenty of growing to do.

When I was thirteen I was maybe 5'4, today I am almost 16 and I am 6 feet tall. Plus, even if you don't grow, things like that become less of an issue as you get out of your schooling years. Like John said, people do not make fun of him for it, but they just make a neutral comment regarding it. Keep your spirits high, you are only 13! You have at least 1 more growth spurt coming your way.

Eric.

Peacemaker636 · Feb 23, 2007

Mainly though, it's just a matter of you being comfortable with yourself. Now that I think about it, when I began not caring what people thought of my height, that's when snide comments began to stop. A tried and true way to let people know you don't care is to learn how to laugh at yourself. If you are the one making comments, and you laugh at them and show that you don't care, then people will know that.

his4ever · Feb 23, 2007

Here is an idea to get over self-estem problems. See in the word... self-estem there is the word "self". What if there are others in your school with your problem? What if next year you notice someone who was in your situation this year? I'll share a story about myself.
I was a homeschooler and there were not many in my youth group that were like my schooling situation. They all were either in public or private school and all clicked together. People were afraid of me and left me out of many things because of that. So I used my experience of being left out and lonley to find others that have the same problem and then become their friends. Then there were 2 less "self-estem" affected people in the group!
Find someone who needs a friend... then it will help you get over your problems. There is nothing like serving others. It brings a smile to your day and also theirs.

lulu · Feb 23, 2007

Don't measure up your self worth with your height. I am a short adult and come from a family of tall people, I know it can be very frustrating but don't let it rule your life.
Bullying happens everywhere, they are just looking for attention. If you show that it gets to you they will continue. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself only you can put a stop to all this.

duncanp · Feb 25, 2007

cherrymoose said:
I'm sorry to hear that. I have very low self esteem, too.

You know, I'm probably the only person who'd say this, but I think you're lucky.
I'm 14, 120 something pounds, and 5 feet 10 inches tall.
And itt's not very fun having people staring at you and asking to see your driver's liscence, or your Visa card, no matter how "great it is to be tall" ...heh.

my mate is 6 ft 3.... same age as me... he gets the same sort of treatment