Male Dominance

karissa · Mar 18, 2004

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and
says, "I want the men to make two lines. One for the
men that dominated their women on earth and the other
for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I
want all the women to go with St. Peter."

Said and done, the next time God looked, the women are
gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that
were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in
the line of men that dominated their women, there was only
one man.

God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of
yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all
whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons
that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell
them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't know. My wife told me to
stand here."

Goofup · Mar 18, 2004

You just love to stir things up, don't you?

Ok, might as well feed the fire:

Q: How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
A: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it to you.

Darfion · Mar 18, 2004

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

Darfion · Mar 18, 2004

How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
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Don't know. Its never been done.

karissa · Mar 18, 2004

bwahahahaha! Oh.. thats a good one!

Edit: Ok, the one about satin because you posted in the time it too me to type that.

Darfion · Mar 18, 2004

karissa said:
bwahahahaha! Oh.. thats a good one!

]

Sarcasm at its worst

Darfion · Mar 18, 2004

Q) Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?

A) Toes Go In First.

Darfion · Mar 18, 2004

Q) Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?

A) Toes Go In First.

markc · Mar 18, 2004

Hehe. Oh the irony of double-posting a blonde joke.

karissa · Mar 18, 2004

Darfion said:
Q) Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?

A) Toes Go In First.

Hey, I resemble that remark!

Darfion · Mar 18, 2004

I posted it twice just in case you didn't hear it the first time

Osmer_Toby · Mar 18, 2004

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a
severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to
worsewhen one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the
front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then
she yells, Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on
earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me
feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own
peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the
front of the plane. Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel
eyes.

He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his
shirt.....one button at a time. No one moves.

He removes his shirt.
Muscles ripple across his chest.
She gasps...
He whispers:

"Iron this, and get me something to eat...."