my first wedding: horror story

[djacobox372]

I am sure the "thief" did not know the contents and took what they wanted, but find it quite strange anyways. Sitting near your cousin was obviously not the best choice on your part. How about locked up in your car?

People plan and spend a LOT on a weddings. As someone that has started to get into this field, the "cannot afford one" is just not a valid thing to say.

People spend thousands for their weddings, and to not budget a small percentage towards a professional photographer... well, then you are asking for these things to happen. It sincerely is too bad that it happened to you, but it is worse that it happened to the bride and groom. After all, THEY are the ones that lost the most (unrepeatable memories of an event that will NEVER happen again).

What can anyone say. It is gone. Though its NOWHERE NEAR the same thing, perhaps ask for a re-shoot or something. Yeah, I know it will be nothing like the real thing, but at this point they have NOTHING... perhaps some shots may be better than nothing?

So you're saying if he would have charged his friends a couple grand he would be made immune to theft and poor decision making?

There are a lot of people out there in "the real world" that simply cannot afford the $1500+ that even an inexperienced "pro" will charge.... and I for one would trust many of my close friends to "protect" my photos just as much as I would some inexpensive pro in the yellow pages.

 

[SilverGlow]

blahhhh

sorry for the late reply guys. I havent been home for more than a couple hours in the past three weeks. Damn "lady" friend.

Ironically enough, we got in a pretty big fight about a month before this wedding and then the morning of the wedding she text me out of the blue and we started talking again. Pretty much been staying there since then.

Pictures will be coming soon. Dont be expecting anything mindblowing but yeah.


OHHHH and did i tell you that my cousin wanted me to go through all of his pictures (~700) and edit the ones worth keeping????

THERE ARE NONE.

Even in the formal shots, he still managed to cut body parts off at random places, blow the sky wayyyy out, out of focus people, just pretty much anything you can think of.

during the cake cutting, he managed to take two pictures. TWO. both of them having the door in the background in focus instead of the bride/groom.

:x:x:x:x:x

Just curious...how many weddings have you shot? And when can we see some keepers? It's been several weeks now, yea?!?

 

[William Petruzzo]

Noo! Don't give up now! Making horrible mistakes is the best way to become a great photographer of conviction and confidence!

 

[Ryvax]

I just read six pages of this post. I want to see those pics now please.

 

[inTempus]

Another vote to see the pics.

I find it amazing that your cousin was tapped for being the photog when he doesn't even know how to set the exposure on his camera properly or where to focus. Did he misrepresent his abilities to the bride and groom or did they really not care if they got pictures of their wedding? If they can afford a wedding at a country club, I find it hard to believe they couldn't scrounge up another $500-$1000 for a local photog that's at least shot a couple of weddings before and had a portfolio to show.

It sucks you lost the memory card. I don't know why someone would take a single memory card, especially knowing that on that card are the pictures of the wedding. Usually people at weddings are there because they like the bride and groom, not because they want to sabotage their wedding. Either it was a rascally kid, ex-boyfriend/girlfriend that snuck in or you misplaced the card.

Golden rule #112 that I learned from my wedding photog mentor: Never let your memory cards leave your person. Get a pouch that you strap to your body. In it carry all critical things like memory cards. Never let it out of your sight. Camera bags get stolen all too often, my mentor has had stuff stolen twice... insurance doesn't cover lost pictures, so keep them with you.

 

[JerryPH]

You know... its not about the money, its not about the lost card, as a matter of fact, the ONLY important thing it should be about is the bride and groom and their day.

As I get more and more serious about wedding photography and see what it takes to do a GOOD job and to do it right, I am also looking at what others charge. I came across several people that charge $200-$500 and could with their work embarass many 30-year wedding photographer veterans and other photographers that charge $3000 and more.

This is not uncommon, and I look today, and still see NO reason why an inexperienced photographer agrees to do a poor job when there are people out there that are basically giving away their talents for next to nothing... and then regretting it. If they really cared about the B&G, instead of screwing up their day and playing pro wedding photographer, they would get together as a group, research the best possible photographer that is within their budget, and pay for it.

I do not care what anyone thinks, but, I sincerely do not have anything against someone wanting to become a wedding photographer. It is an incredible event, and each one is so magical to me... what I find inexcusable are people who try to do weddings and are clueless. Of course they will fail miserably. Of course they will often say "I did ok"... no, it was not ok... it was mediocre. It was not what the bride and groom deserve.

Let me be blunt... this crap is now what they are stuck looking at for the rest of their lives compared to something that they did deserve.

"Oh but there are professionals out there that are just as crappy". Yes, sadly there are, and more than we would like. but that is NOT the point!

The point is the couple need to do their homework and find someone that will give them what they deserve, pro or not. If your uncle George can do a good job, USE HIM... but make sure he KNOWS what he is doing, else we are back at square one!!

To do a wedding right from the aspect of someone that wants to do it right takes a ton of work, ton of preparation and camera/lighting equipment that is equal to the challenges that near all weddings today present.

1. If you have not taken the time to MASTER the basics of photography, you have no business standing in front of a bride on her special day.

2. If you have not taken the time to mentor with a KNOWN GOOD EXPERIENCED WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER, you have no business standing in front of a bride on her special day. Mentoring is the BEST and FASTEST way to learn. This way you can play "mr pro wedding photographer" and no one gets hurt, becuase someone is covering your back and at the same time teaching you how to do it right.

3. If you have not taken the time to MASTER your camera and lighting equipment you have no business standing in front of a bride on her special day.

4. If your equipment is not capable if capturing excellent quality shots in difficult and very low light situations, rent it, learn to use it or you have no business standing in front of a bride on her special day.

5. If your post processing skills cannot result in pictures that cannot bring smiles or even tears of joy, you have no business standing in front of a bride on her special day.

The reason so many people argue these points are because of ego. "I don't need to do all that to do a good job..." is what we hear often.

Yeah... you do. Reality sucks, doesn't it?

Bruised egos are a *****... but if they cared more about the B&G than their egos, we'd have a ton fewer horror stories out there and a lot fewer brides out there crying and wishing that they'd spent a little less on booze and a cake (both consumables that they see once and never again), and a little more for a better photographer.

I'm not pointing the fingers at anyone here, just airing what I think are the realities vs what some people imagine how things are.

 

[Lacey Anne]

Jerry, your passion is awesome.

Where the hell are the pics?

FWIW, my wedding cost under $500 and we had no photographer. Of course, I was 19 and knocked up... Oh well.

 

[B Kennedy]

ugh...6 pages of reading, leading up to the pics, and dammit there still is none! Let's see some

 

[Moglex]

OP hasn't visited sunce the 8th June so you might have a wait.

 

[JerryPH]

Jerry, your passion is awesome.

Thanks.

Where the hell are the pics?

Well, based on what we read, at least 700 of them are not going to be here... lol

FWIW, my wedding cost under $500 and we had no photographer. Of course, I was 19 and knocked up... Oh well.

lol@being "knocked up"... hey, we do what we have to do! Was you dad there with shotgun in hand? I think that is where the term "shotgun wedding" came from originally.

 

[inTempus]

I'm with you Jerry, I think it's completely irresponsible for people to shoot weddings that have no idea what they're doing. Typically its a disaster, even if the amateur photog thinks they did great afterward.

A wedding is supposed to be a once in a lifetime event (not so much anymore, so you may get a second or third chance with a particular bride or groom) that is supposed to be one of the biggest days of the brides life. To show up and shoot a bunch of snap shots that are OOF, under exposed, over exposed, poorly composed, and missing key shots is inexcusable.

This is only made worse by the fact many people do this hack job for their friends and family. At least with a stranger you never have to see them again after wrecking their wedding photos. With friends and family you never get to live it down.

There are some rare instances where people honestly don't care if they have pictures of their wedding or not. Some people have no use for them. So if you're lucky enough to get volunteered to shoot a wedding where the bride and groom honestly don't care what the end result is, have some fun and try to learn something. But I've found even the most understanding bride in the beginning isn't so understanding once they see their screwed up pictures. Most people expect to get quality pictures even for free. When they get junk, then they get pissy.

I've been asked several times to shoot weddings for friends and family, and each time I've declined. I'm doing it right, I'm working with a 13 year veteran wedding photog and learning the ropes this year. If I feel comfortable next year I might take on my first wedding. My mentor has offered to second shoot for me when I do, which gives me even more confidence.

But there's no way in Hell I would just waddle out into a wedding with a camera I bought 6 months ago and pretend I know what I'm doing. It has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with the bride and groom... and screwing up their one special day isn't something I'm willing to do just because I think "what the heck, I can do it, how hard can it be?"

 

[Jeremy Z]

All this jazz about deserving a pro photographer for their wedding is bunk. If the couple decided to save money, and trust their friends (whose work I presume they saw beforehand) then they get what they deserve, good or bad. They DECIDED to hire their friends. THEY made the decision, as responsible adults.

I shot two weddings for my friends, both with excellent results. (not mediocre) I'm not a pro, and my back-up camera was a point & shoot in both cases. In both cases, I told them I would do my best, and having seen my work, that was good enough for them. They saved hundreds or thousands of dollars. I shot their weddings as a wedding gift. It was a win-win situation.

That is a bummer that the memory card was lost or stolen.

I agree that putting your gear someplace inaccessible to the general public is the preferred route. Having a locking case, someone could just walk off with it. But of course you know this now.

In my opinion, memory card are so small, yet so important, that they should be kept on one's person.

Well, I hope everything came out all right for you.

It is no wonder there are no pix posted. Jerry would probably rip into them and call them all mediocre in his condescending manner.

 

[Moglex]

All this jazz about deserving a pro photographer for their wedding is bunk. If the couple decided to save money, and trust their friends (whose work I presume they saw beforehand) then they get what they deserve, good or bad. They DECIDED to hire their friends. THEY made the decision, as responsible adults.

Yes, I found it quite disturbing the way some posters were virtually demanding that people should hire a professional photographer (at considerable cost). It is, as you say, their choice.

But I agree that people should not represent themselves as capable of doing a professional quality wedding shoot if they can't.

e.g. if X is known to his friends as a photographer and maybe thought to be a very good one on the basis of, say, wildlife photographs, then if X's friends ask him to shoot their wedding it behoves him to tell them very clearly that he does not have any experience of that and that wedding photography is a specialist field and all he can really promise them is good quality snaps.

Then they can make a decsion knowing all the salient facts.

 

[Sachphotography]

I'm with you Jerry, I think it's completely irresponsible for people to shoot weddings that have no idea what they're doing. Typically its a disaster, even if the amateur photog thinks they did great afterward.

A wedding is supposed to be a once in a lifetime event (not so much anymore, so you may get a second or third chance with a particular bride or groom) that is supposed to be one of the biggest days of the brides life. To show up and shoot a bunch of snap shots that are OOF, under exposed, over exposed, poorly composed, and missing key shots is inexcusable.

This is only made worse by the fact many people do this hack job for their friends and family. At least with a stranger you never have to see them again after wrecking their wedding photos. With friends and family you never get to live it down.

There are some rare instances where people honestly don't care if they have pictures of their wedding or not. Some people have no use for them. So if you're lucky enough to get volunteered to shoot a wedding where the bride and groom honestly don't care what the end result is, have some fun and try to learn something. But I've found even the most understanding bride in the beginning isn't so understanding once they see their screwed up pictures. Most people expect to get quality pictures even for free. When they get junk, then they get pissy.

I've been asked several times to shoot weddings for friends and family, and each time I've declined. I'm doing it right, I'm working with a 13 year veteran wedding photog and learning the ropes this year. If I feel comfortable next year I might take on my first wedding. My mentor has offered to second shoot for me when I do, which gives me even more confidence.

But there's no way in Hell I would just waddle out into a wedding with a camera I bought 6 months ago and pretend I know what I'm doing. It has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with the bride and groom... and screwing up their one special day isn't something I'm willing to do just because I think "what the heck, I can do it, how hard can it be?"

I worked and talked with a few different people who shoot weddings and I have to agree. If you take pictures on the "best day of her life" and screw them up, you are liable to get sued. When I shoot weddings; now that I am shooting digital, I keep my card on me at all times. I have a little case they do not move from. I would be scared to death if a card with 500 pictures disappeared. I have gotten into the habit of only keeping no more than 100 on a card. I shoot 1000 or so pictures and yes, I carry a lot of cards. I know that if one has issues I still have 9 other cards. I am not about to jeopardize her day at all. I know how my wedding day was and I could no repeat that if I tried. You tell your wife you ripped off the front end of your Durango on the way to the wedding while standing in front of the unity candle!!! You can't get that face twice. (yeah it was a rough day) lol
The thing to remember is that people get what they pay for. If they want a $300 guy who has never done a wedding then that is what they are going to get..... agree though. It is irresponsible.............

 

[Moglex]

The thing to remember is that people get what they pay for. If they want a $300 guy who has never done a wedding then that is what they are going to get..... agree though. It is irresponsible.............

Some people need to realise that photographs simply are not that important to everyone. And even if they are they may not be that bothered about the quality.

I've been to more than one wedding where the only photographs that were taken were snaps (not by me) and the B&G were not in the slightest concerned. So long as they got a few 6x4's they were happy.

It may seem like sacrilege to people here but that's what they wanted.