Nathalie

[remylebeau]

Friend of mine was out of the country for some time, it's been about 3 years. She knew me before photography so I couldn't wait to get her in and do a portrait. It took no skill to shoot Nathalie well she has the warmest smile I know.
Mamiya 645 AFD
Kodak Portra
Epson v700

 

[mmaria]

Can't type,phone,sorry

 

[Derrel]

The composition on this is exceptionally awkward and not very flattering. 50% of the frame is empty, and to make matters worse, her head is basically "hitting the top of the frame", and her face is "slamming into the left edge" of the frame. This could have been a nice image if the camera had been turned to vertical. Having all the empty space on the right is totally ungainly. My suggestion is to crop it to a rectangle, or a square. ELiminate some of the dead space, and eliminate that hunched over back. Luckily, 645 is an amply big negative to work with.

 

[John_Olexa]

I don't mind empty space on the right ,but I do agree with the too tight a crop with the top of her head.

 

[remylebeau]

Interesting, thanks for the feedback guys. I actually much dislike vertical shots, I was an animation student in college so my mind is trained and comfortable seeing in horizontal frames. As far as the dead space it's intended, successful or not is up to the viewer but I wanted it that way. She's looking back giving an almost over the shoulder look so, the negative space was intended to keep the focus on her. I actually have a similar shot with the negative space in front of her but I liked this one better because the eyes are flowing towards the right of the frame not the left, so it felt more weird to have the space to the left of the frame.

To Derrels point though I could have avoided the whole space thing by doing a square or portrait crop, but I just prefer horizontal shots and hopefully I can make it work.

As for the crop yeah that is a little tight I didn't think it would end up that way, the toque added more to the top of her head an I expected. I was mainly trying to get her eyes lined up with the top 2/3 of the frame.

 

[Designer]

It doesn't "work".

And if I am expected to "work" to make myself like a photograph, then I like it even less.

But hey, you're the "artist" so what do I know?

As long as I'm here, Ill send up a more complete reading:

Shiny skin
poor choice of costume
hand to the face in non-complimentary pose
awkward frame (already mentioned)

All of which is irrelevant if the photographer has the self-confidence to buck tradition and produce a photograph with serious flaws, and who remains unfazed by honest criticism.

 

[bribrius]

i think criticism is helpful. wanted. Helps the photographer to see things as others might or a critique by someone more experienced to learn from.

However.................................

"All of which is irrelevant if the photographer likes their photograph the way it is"

Fixed it for you.

 

[Derrel]

i think criticism is helpful. wanted. Helps the photographer to see things as others might or a critique by someone more experienced to learn from.

However.................................

"All of which is irrelevant if the photographer likes their photograph the way it is"

Fixed it for you.

If you're wishing to seriously proclaim, "Fixed it for you," it would be wise to write, "All of which is irrelevant if the photographer likes his photograph the way it is."

ANd since we're using quotation marks, I'll quote myself: "They want to work in a visual medium, but are unwilling to learn the visual language."

 

[bribrius]

i think criticism is helpful. wanted. Helps the photographer to see things as others might or a critique by someone more experienced to learn from.

However.................................

"All of which is irrelevant if the photographer likes their photograph the way it is"

Fixed it for you.

If you're wishing to seriously proclaim, "Fixed it for you," it would be wise to write, "All of which is irrelevant if the photographer likes his photograph the way it is."

ANd since we're using quotation marks, I'll quote myself: "They want to work in a visual medium, but are unwilling to learn the visual language."

totally agree . Need to be willing to learn.

 

[Designer]

i think criticism is helpful. wanted. Helps the photographer to see things as others might or a critique by someone more experienced to learn from.

However.................................

"All of which is irrelevant if the photographer likes their photograph the way it is"

Fixed it for you.

I liked it better as I wrote it.

I keep forgetting that sarcasm is irrelevant on the internet.

 

[remylebeau]

It doesn't "work".

And if I am expected to "work" to make myself like a photograph, then I like it even less.

But hey, you're the "artist" so what do I know?

As long as I'm here, Ill send up a more complete reading:

Shiny skin
poor choice of costume
hand to the face in non-complimentary pose
awkward frame (already mentioned)

All of which is irrelevant if the photographer has the self-confidence to buck tradition and produce a photograph with serious flaws, and who remains unfazed by honest criticism.

It doesn't "work" is entirely up to you as I said earlier, I have no expectation from the viewer outside of simply viewing the image. As I've said I'm trying to make it work so this is a discovery piece for me. I've seen a lot of horizontal portraits that do work, if only for me and knowing it doesn't work for you is helpful so I'll keep experimenting.

Adding "But hey, you're the "artist" so what do I know?" makes your critique a bit disingenuous. I'd rather you just be honest as before and said it didn't work, adding this comment makes it seem like you knew your comment might be upsetting. It's like you intentionally went ahead with a initial remark you knew would antagonize me and left yourself an "out" with another comment that seems quite sarcastic.

"All of which is irrelevant if the photographer has the self-confidence to buck tradition and produce a photograph with serious flaws, and who remains unfazed by honest criticism."

Again after proving clear and useful critique you add another semi-sarcastic line as an out for yourself. By design if I were to respond addressing or defending your critique I'd fall into your trap of being a "self-confident" photographer who "produces a photograph with serious flaws" and "remains unfazed by honest criticism". It's quite clever if I were to defend myself even justified I'd paint myself in a very negative light. Tell me this wasn't by malicious design?

I can't tell if you're giving me an honest opinion despite you declaring you are, since your comments appear designed to antagonize me with sarcasm. If you're intending me to take your critique seriously is it at all possible to use a different tone? You seem like a very intelligent person so it's hard for me the believe your words aren't specifically chosen for an instigating effect.

 

[mmaria]

I tried to write something last night but my phone wouldn't cooperate, so I thought I could bmp this since it has about 70 views and no comments, and see what others think.

First, I like colors.
Second, I love horizontal portraits and tones of negative space so you wont hear from me that you should take it vertically.

With that said, here are my thoughts

Yes, a bit space above her head would be better, but that's an easy fix in pp if you want to do that.

The way you cropped the photo, with that much negative space behind her doesn't add anything to the photo imo. Her energy and body language is flowing to the viewer's left and you cut that. She is relaxed and smiling but you cut it right in front of her. When you place the person that close to the edge that usually tells a completely different story then her story is.

Anyway, you can easily add some negative space in front of her and delete that space behind her to see what I'm talking about.

jmho

 

[remylebeau]

I tried to write something last night but my phone wouldn't cooperate, so I thought I could bmp this since it has about 70 views and no comments, and see what others think.

First, I like colors.
Second, I love horizontal portraits and tones of negative space so you wont hear from me that you should take it vertically.

With that said, here are my thoughts

Yes, a bit space above her head would be better, but that's an easy fix in pp if you want to do that.

The way you cropped the photo, with that much negative space behind her doesn't add anything to the photo imo. Her energy and body language is flowing to the viewer's left and you cut that. She is relaxed and smiling but you cut it right in front of her. When you place the person that close to the edge that usually tells a completely different story then her story is.

Anyway, you can easily add some negative space in front of her and delete that space behind her to see what I'm talking about.

jmho

Thanks for the critique Maria, I was wondering what happened with your original reply. I appreciate your explanation about the body language flow, I initially thought it should flow behind her, but with the comments here I think it clearly should be in front. I think you're right it would work with the space left of the frame especially for the context/story.

Thanks!