no, i will NOT take a photo with your camera!!!!!

[Plato]

I am a petite, 30 year old woman who looks like she still belongs in high school...
... and I am having a problem with guests taking me seriously!
Recently, I was shooting a photo of the bride and her parents at the reception.
The mother walks over to me, tries to hand me her camera, and says "can you take one with mine?"
NO I WILL NOT TAKE ONE WITH YOURS!!!!!!!!!!
I am not some KID! I am the person your daughter HIRED to take her WEDDING PICTURES!!!
I was very graceful and courteous, telling her that the bride would have a copy of photo I took, and she was welcome to order her own.
AND SHE WAS MAD!!!!!!
SO:
1) how can i handle this in the future? better yet,
HOW CAN I STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO ME????

Elevator shoes?

Or...
"I'm really sorry but I really need to get the official pictures done and I don't have time to spare."

 

[icassell]

Flash your flash right in her eyes -- "oops sorry" -- blind her -- and she'll leave you alone ...

 

[Battou]

You could always wear one of these:

Actually I was thinking something similar but a little more practcal. Like a simple laminated badge dealie with the photographers name and place of business.

 

[Enough Already]

It seems to me that the mother trying to get a picture with her camera is a attempt (conscious or subconscious) to undercut the printing costs of the professional photos.

Exactly. There is always so much objection to people doing stuff for next to nothing and for nothing yet its ok to take a photo with someones camera so they can get a $2 8x10 from Walmart. "Im sure you would be much happier with a photo of you and your daughter taken with my equipment". You cant stop people asking though, thats the hard part.

 

[BKMOOD]

My response would have been: "Aw, sorry. Union rules say I can only shoot with union approved cameras."

 

[MikeBookPro]

Some of the responses in this thread have left me absolutely dumb-struck! It's the MOTHER of the BRIDE. I vote for "Of course!", grab the camera, take a photo, and get back to work. I think anything else is a HUGE mistake.

 

[UUilliam]

Exactly it is the mother of the bride

Women are con artists, they will rob you from under your nose because you should always respect women.

you could always say "sorry, I'm not insured for your equipment if I damage it, I dont want to take that risk."

or "You can take just as good a picture as me with that camera, just point and click"

Why do people think that photographers have magic powers to make things work better than they are?!?!

I remember taking a picture of my mum
and she was like "Your rubbish, I look fat in that pciture"
my responce...
"you are fat though, The camera records what it sees..."

that shut her up.

 

[thriveCanada]

For diplomacy sake, I would take the picture. This is the mother after all, and not a guest on a back table of the dining room. Having said that, I would grab-snap-give back and be back to my work.

 

[NateWagner]

Actually I was thinking something similar but a little more practcal. Like a simple laminated badge dealie with the photographers name and place of business.

you could do this, but I don't think it would serve the purpose.

Because it is the mother, I am sure that by the time the reception comes around she already knows that you are the photographer. It is not a case of mistaken identity, instead it is a case of the person not realizing that you are busy. Again, take the picture, it takes two seconds and you're done.

As far as undercutting the cost, come on. Assuming that you do processing to the images afterwards, and that you do a better job handling the light than her P&S then your shot should end up much better than the shot with her camera. She will probably still buy your image.

Besides if you don't take the picture what is she going to do? Most likely she is going to go to a friend and have them take the same picture. I mean, this picture was of the bride, and her parents, and one of the parents wanted a copy on her own camera. My hunch is that it's probably something she wanted to have right away and not have to wait, and something that she could show people at the office the next day.

 

[jbylake]

Some of the responses in this thread have left me absolutely dumb-struck! It's the MOTHER of the BRIDE. I vote for "Of course!", grab the camera, take a photo, and get back to work. I think anything else is a HUGE mistake.

So, I guess the long neck beer bottle scenario is out of the question then?

J.:mrgreen:

 

[zoogirlbc]

As a hobby photographer and a recent bride, I have to chime in on this one. Mothers (ok women in general) who are perfectly normal otherwise seem to get crazy during weddings. I know, my best friend and sister did. I would say go on the side of making everyone happy. Customer service is part of your job even as an artist. We were so lucky with our photographer - we had 3 of our own Nikon DSLR's going. We took over 4000 of our own pics and still paid him for his services/pictures (we bought a package that included a disk of all our edited prints). He did a fantastic job. I doubt that would be a regular request at all weddings anyways.

 

[misol]

Actually you could say something about how you are only allowed to use camera's you brought...like it isnt your call.

But I get it. I am a girl too and look younger then I am. People try to step all over me and when I refused to allow it, they act like I am a raging *****. If I was a guy, first they wouldnt try it. Second if I said no, they would be cool with it. Its a rough situation.

I would have been bothered but have taken on just to keep the peace. If she or anyone asked again, I would have explained that it was going to really cut into my ability to make money off this shoot. They may be trying to rip you off (they were) but I doubt they would keep asking if you pointed it out

 

[NateWagner]

I have seen what you are talking about with regards to how if a woman acts strongly or stands up for herself she is considered a bit*h.
However, I have also encountered similar situations and I assure you that they would still think a guy was a jerk if he did not take the picture with their camera.

Also, with regards to explaining it would cut into your ability to make money off the shoot, I NEVER want to talk about money in any way at a wedding or event. The day is about the bride, it is her day and that's where the focus should be. You don't want to give the impression that you are pinching them for every penny you can get from them when they have already paid you a substantial sum (in their eyes) for you to be there at all.

If you're able to do the conversation in private, maybe you could get away with it (though I wouldn't recommend it). But what happens if the mother causes a scene, the bride will probably be pissed, because the day is about her, and any referrals you would have gotten are long gone.

Take the picture, and move on.

 

[zerofourtwo]

I would explain to the mother that the bride and groom spent good money for your time and services and that your time is very limited, also that you would like be able to stand up to the original agreement with the bride and groom to deliver high quality photos that only high end equipment can produce.

By the way, situations like this are always gonna happen from time to time at weddings, and some times no matter how you respond your gonna upset someone, you just have to stay polite and blow it off. Your at their wedding to work, not make friends.

 

[Christie Photo]

I don't get it? it will take you 2 seconds to take a picture... why not just do it?

What a great perspective.

I routinely do it. I've helped others who are shooting over my shoulder if they wait until I've finished mine. AND, on occasion, I've made the offer first saying, "Let me make one with yours."

Good goin', Nate. You're a good man.

-Pete