While the focal point is clearly of the man in the foreground, the fact that this is a view we all see daily and the guy isn't showing an active expression, either facially or through body language, somewhat lowers the imaginative aspect of the shot. Unfortunately portrait shots from the rear don't usually result well. People naturally use facial expression at a sub conscious level, so it's an important factor to consider.
That said, I must say I quite like your grain effect. Was this intended or is it a result of the scan?