OK, this is a toughie.
I like 5 and 8 but it's hard to express why exactly.
In most of these, the light isn't well controlled and there are hard shadows and bright places, almost randomly. There is little contact with the person and they seem quite loosely cropped.
Dark eye shadows and dark halves of the face just seem off-putting. In most of these I have to find the face to look at while there are brights spots everywhere.
#5 & #8. are the easiest to edit because her best look is absolutely straight on - and there is good contact.
I think that these both can be quite nice with a different approach to the conversion process.
(I used the color original, I hope that's OK). This is the original, the wall is bright, the cushion is bright, the pillow is bright , all competing for attention
I like a controlled but dramatic color original and I do a lot of changing in the color because the edits are easier and a coherent result in color makes the BW easier.
Knock down the bright spots that aren't her face, Be especially hard on the parts that aren't important like the wall and floor.
Lighten the dark side of her face. Darken her hands.
The pre-bw in color should look pretty dramatic. but that will lead to a better bw
The conversion should be easy because the darks and lights are taken care of.
some vignetting, a tiny bit of sepia tone to warm it up and I think it looks quite ok.
(I probably should have burnt in her knee also, but you get the idea.)