Sisters

Tuna · Aug 13, 2005

I am much more comfortable with candid, street shots of people. Here I have attempted a more formal shot and all comments and critique would be appreciated as to it's technical and aesthetic effectiveness.

Leica MP, Voigtlander 35/1.7 Ultron, Kodak CN400 B&W film.

Tuna

Nikon Fan · Aug 13, 2005

I like what you're shooting for here but something feels uneasy about this to me...maybe the crop, but it could be the orientation. I keep wanting to see this same shot but vertical rather than horizontal. But it also seems that maybe if you cropped about an inch off the left hand side that it could work out as well.

terri · Aug 13, 2005

I like it a bunch, but would agree a tighter crop would be more effective here. I don't mind it remaining horizontal, but the girls and the birdbath alone would do it for me, without the additional space on either side. It doesn't do anything to add to the photograph.

Pretty girls!

Tuna · Aug 13, 2005

Hmmm... Here is one cropped a bit tighter AND a little lighter background.

Better?

Tuna

craig · Aug 13, 2005

I dig it!!! I get the feeling that these kids are up to a lot more then what we see. I love the bird bath. The photos taken by the incomprable Diane Arbus comes to mind.

Tuna · Aug 14, 2005

Craig, thanks for your comment and I had to show it to my wife and daughter. Here's why: this is a shot of my sister's little girls and after the shoot in areas around our house, my wife and daughter asked when they could see the pictures. Knowing that they expected the standard smiley/cutesy shots, I warned them that I had taken many Arbus-like portraits and that the images may be a little different than expected. Not knowing Arbus or her style, they shrugged me off. Later, when they saw the images, this one a few others seemed "disturbing" to them...

Your message re-affirmed my earlier comment and I'm glad you recognized the Arbus style. I have always enjoyed seeing her images in the past.

Tuna

terri · Aug 14, 2005

A great improvement. :thumbup: That's the shot. Nice work!

craig · Aug 14, 2005

Cool. Your work is completely different from mine. I really enjoy it.

phat1985 · Aug 15, 2005

I agree that this photograph need to crop the unwanted area and it seems like you did a great job of croping. Nice shot by the way. This photograph kind of mysterious when you look at the pathway to the wood and the girls stand at the entrance and the gate (birdbath).

danalec99 · Aug 15, 2005

I like the second version. The background in the first image is a bit dark for me.
Beautiful portrait!

Nikon Fan · Aug 15, 2005

terri said:
A great improvement. :thumbup: That's the shot. Nice work!

Exactly

elsapo · Aug 17, 2005

No, I think I like the original crop better. The space created a lot of mood. Try bringing the contrast up on the original, and making sure the edges of the photo don't get too bright. Basically bump up your contrast, dodge-burn the center subject and burn down the corners a bit.

The subjects are really dominant enough here that the extra space is helping you out.

That said -- the difference here is in who the girls are. If this is for your family, or friends, then yes the tighter crop works and makes it more of a "portrait." But the wider view creates much more mood and really allows you to say something about your subjects.

So, because I don't know them, I greatly prefer the oroginal crop.

JohnMF · Aug 17, 2005

i prefare the second crop much more, seem much more concentrated on the subjects. Not sure if you change the contrast in the second one, but i prefare the contrast in the first one

Christie Photo · Aug 18, 2005

elsapo said:
No, I think I like the original crop better. ...The subjects are really dominant enough here that the extra space is helping...

Exactly.

I think you have yet another successful image. I'm only a bit green.

In an effort to offer a meaningful critique, I'll say that the range of tones is good, position of the subjects good, overall crop good.

If you REALLY feel you want to "monkey" with this image, the only thing I would try (just try) is to tone done (just a bit) the vertical line in background created by the sunlight spilling onto a tree trunk.

Nice image!

-Pete

almo · Aug 21, 2005

Tuna said:
I am much more comfortable with candid, street shots of people. Here I have attempted a more formal shot and all comments and critique would be appreciated as to it's technical and aesthetic effectiveness.

Leica MP, Voigtlander 35/1.7 Ultron, Kodak CN400 B&W film.

Tuna

I find this image to be somewhat pensive, but it doesn't really ruin the mood of it. Besides the fact that looking at it makes me somehow uneasy I really kinda like it. Yet it does seem to lack a lot of what makes you my favorite photographer.