Almost all softboxes will work with a speedlight , but you will need to get a Speedlight speed ring for that specific softbox you choose. No softboxes normally don't come with a light stand unless you buy a kit and then most of those stands are cheap. If you are doing a studio setup I would skip the light stands and buy C-stands they are way more friendly. But if you plan on doing some location shots lights stands are nice because they are normally they weigh less.
Softboxes come in all shapes and sizes, anything from 12"x12"(30x30cm) up to 12'(4 meters), square, rectangle, octabox, stripsbox...etc. I would stay some what small like 32"x40"(81x101cm) or 30"x36"(76x91cm) or a 35"(88cm), octabox and/or 10"x36"(25x91cm) stripboxes. The reason I wouldn't go to big is because most speed lights are not going to have enough light to fill up these larger boxes, what happens is you have more light in the center and as you more to the edges the light starts to fall off creating a gradation in the softbox.
Next thing to look for is make sure the softbox has a second layer of diffusion, one internal white diffusion and one external. But no matter what once you start putting light modifiers on you flashes and strobes you will start to lose light power from your strobe. Also remember softboxes large the light source(flash) bigger which helps to make the light softer but softboxes also help direct the light to where you want it to go on the subject.