squirrels need crash helmets

[ferny]

So I'm riding my bike, the river is to the left of me. I take a look at the little computer and it says I'm doing 15mph. I notice a sign and decide to have a nose as I go. It's something like "jump in the river and die". Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash, a stupid little squirrel has decided to jump out in front of me. I slam my brakes on and he decides to run in the same direction as me, darting left and right. Finally he runs up a tree. And gives me the most filthiest look ever. The cheek! So, I declare that a new law be passed. All squirrels must now wear crash helmets. That way I won't wear out my brakes and tyres. Chopping off their legs would be a better option, but I think that has even less chance of getting passed.
Luckily it's one of those days where there isn't much air about. Otherwise I would have been going faster and definitely would have splattered him. Still, it made a change. The other day at the same spot I almost ran over a rat or something who thought it would be fun to play chicken with me.

 

[KevinR]

Looks like what you need is a score card.

 

[terri35 7]

Chopping off their legs would be a better option, but I think that has even less chance of getting passed.

Now, now..... all the little creatures on the planet must be given the right of way to mad bikers like you. :mrgreen:

 

[Meysha]

Hmmm You might be onto something here,,, but I personally prefer them without the helmets.

We don't have squirrels where I come from but we do have Cane Toads. They're ultra squishy when you drive over them in the car.

I also went for about three weekends, where each morning I'd drive to work at 5:30am and I hit a bird every morning!!!! The stupid pigeons usually get out of the way but they must've been on dopey pills that months.

 

[ferny]

mad bikers like you

layball:

My friend told me a story which cracked me up a while ago. Apparently she's known for not noticing too much when she's driving, but her husband see's everything. One of those "did you see that thingy over there", "no, and you're driving to, watch the road" people.
Well, they went away and she was driving and he kept comenting on the rabbits which were all over the place but she couldn't see them. That night he took her out along an unlit road. Now and then he'd ask "can you see that rabbit?" "no" she'd say. And then a large *ka-bump* would follow. It went on for ages. "no" *ka-bump*. Ok, ok, it's cruel. But the way she said it cracked me up. :mrgreen:

 

[photong]

"tyres" eh? You're weird.

They're pesky. We call our street squirrels because they usually are missing fur. they do like to wait until last minute before jumping out of the way of a car. I almost saw one get hit the last week Damn thing didn't know which direction to run. When I ran out of the way, it tried to jump back the other way almost hitting the car tire and getting run over again. Damn thing waste two cat lives right there.

 

[Xmetal]

we do have Cane Toads. They're ultra squishy when you drive over them in the car.

Cane toads are fun!! You can put a cigarette in their mouth and prick holes in them to let the smoke out!

You can also play golf with them aswell.

 

[Meysha]

Cane toads are fun!! You can put a cigarette in their mouth and prick holes in them to let the smoke out!

You can also play golf with them aswell.

that is so cruel! We used to pour salt and pepper and chilli on them and watch them burn. (hmm ok maybe that's a bit cruel too.)
Then we'd put them in the freezer or fridge in a plastic bag and watch our parents freak out when they opened the doors.

Yeah they're great for golf,,,, but you gotta be careful of the spray! *ewww!*

 

[ferny]

Why don't you just put them to your lips and blow?

*pop*

 

[terri35 7]

ugh. :shock: You people need to find other toys. uke: Preferably inanimate objects.

 

[ferny]

No squirrels today. Just a stupid woman pulling out of a doctor's surgery looking over her left shoulder whilst going forward. If she was going a tiny bit faster she would have had my back wheel. Nice how she smiled and waved to say sorry afterwards...