I may put up a few quotes i've heard whilst in Dublin a few years ago.
Whilst in a restaurant i asked the waiter what the gammon was like. His reply was this
" it's loik tick bacon sorr" he said it and blinked several times. I couldn't answer him back for the surpressed laughter that i was trying to contain. After he went away i let out a loud yelp like noise that intrigued the whole restaurant. There's more but you'll have to wait till the 17th for the rest.