I think I have bitten off more than I can chew. Let me explain. I was a second shooter for three years and then the person I was second shooter for moved across the country at the end of last year. I had a brief stint as a second shooter for another photographer last summer as well (at the same time), but was only getting paid $60 for shooting all day. Maybe I could understand that rate if I was inexperienced. However, I had my prior years experience with the other person so this was not the case. Nevertheless, at the end of the wedding season, he offered me a contract for working with him at $12 an hour. But there were stipulations so I asked questions, none of which were answered. So this year, I found myself with no stable second shooter position open. So I decided to go at it alone. To shoot weddings myself. I booked myself gigs using Thumbtack at rates that I did not think all the way through. And now, I pay the price. After I rent out all of the equipment I need, I barely make a profit, if any. I am also not a legal business and it gives me anxiety that I will get rejected to shoot at a venue because of this. And sometimes I doubt my abilities. I think I jumped the gun and got into something deeper than I understood. I loved photography, but I don't think I understood how much work and how expensive it is to do. I know I have made mistakes and maybe I am not fit to do this anymore and maybe shouldn't be doing it now. But nevertheless, I booked people and need to fulfill my commitment them. It is not that I don't like photography. I think i have just gone about it the wrong way. So I am just trying to survive my last few gigs this season. Please don't be too harsh.