**thoughts for 2006

aprilraven · Jan 16, 2006

if you didnt have any already....i loved these, and thought you might laugh at one or two....9..6..and 5 made me bust out....but i'm easy..

THOUGHTS FOR 2006

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at
which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see
him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying
in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It
pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located
among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got
a
clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are
located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
immigration.

Verbal · Jan 16, 2006

Ahahaha!

those are freakin' awesome! I like the health nut one :biggrin:

duncanp · Jan 16, 2006

i like it :thumbup:

aprilraven · Jan 16, 2006

thanks guys, i liked them too..thought they were pretty funny....

gotta dig the sandwhich one....

JTHphoto · Jan 16, 2006

aprilraven said:
thanks guys, i liked them too..thought they were pretty funny....

gotta dig the sandwhich one....

these are funny, that one could be reversed too, "if you see a man without a sandwich..."

Calliope · Jan 16, 2006

Those are hilarious... :mrgreen:

markc · Jan 16, 2006

One I like from Terry Pratchett...

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Alexandra · Jan 16, 2006

:lmao:
these are soooo incredible smart! thanks Raven!!!

Hertz van Rental · Jan 16, 2006

aprilraven said:
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

So a woman only needs two skills - cooking and f*cking. If you want a husband, girls, learn to do both at the same time.

aprilraven · Jan 17, 2006

JTHphoto said:
these are funny, that one could be reversed too, "if you see a man without a sandwich..."

now i will have to start looking at mens hands.......:er:

Hertz van Rental · Jan 17, 2006

aprilraven said:
now i will have to start looking at mens hands.......:er:

That'll make a nice change for you :mrgreen:

aprilraven · Jan 17, 2006

Hertz van Rental said:
That'll make a nice change for you :mrgreen:

watch it hertz....

how do you know where i look??? i may usually go for the eyes...

or the feet... you know what they say about men and big feet...

( they wear big shoes....!!) where is your mind going??