Yes i do. couldn't tell you right now what i had the setting at once i got the right exposure w/out looking at the raws. but just seemed very "studio" like. what i'm asking is if there is a way to soften the light to look more natural. or maybe i'm placing the lights wrong.
Welcome to the forum.
Lets take a step back. Why are you finding the lights too bright? Do you not know how to control exposure with your camera by adjusting the shutter speed, aperture and ISO?
Well, the characteristic that we often associate with nice 'natural' lighting, is softness. For example, a large window will usually give you nice soft natural light. As mentioned, the key to getting light to be softer, has to do with the relative size of the light source compared to the subject. So while an umbrella will certainly increase the size (thus softness) over a bare light head, it's still going to be smaller than a large window. As mentioned (again) moving the light closer to the subject will also help to make the light softer.
I'd suggest starting out with only one light. Again, this can help with the goal of more 'natural' looking light (the most natural lighting being one light source (the sun)). Also, this should lead to more artistic boudoir, as it will give you light, but also leave shadow, which will help to convey form & texture. If you just use two lights, one on either side, you'll likely end up with flat (boring) light...which can work for some types of photography, but it's not something I'd use for boudoir.
So start with one light, put it to the side and above your model. I don't know if you have any adjustment on the power of the light, but either way, work to get proper exposure for the lit side of your model, letting the other side get dark. (you may have to turn off/block any other sources of light).
Play around with the light position and poses from there. If you need to have some detail in the shadow areas, that's where fill light comes in. Just using another light of the same strength, probably won't do (unless you can adjust it), so I'd suggest keeping to one light and using something as a reflector, to bounce some of the light back into the shadows as needed.