Nice attempt. Composition is executed well here, however the skin tones are some what "blown out." Are you using the flash that's on your camera, or you shooting with an additional flash? Other than that, good work!
Comp is nice. Maybe back the flash up or power down. and if you have another flash I think a hairlight would be nice.
I only have one flash so far, but another one should come in the mail shortly. I don't know why but I am kind of stuck on this "lighter" look. Maybe cause it looks better on the camera's small LCD. I will try to get a better skin tone next time.
