What does this mean?

Nikon Fan · Apr 24, 2005

WARNING LONG, somewhat venting,and need some help

Alright so I've got a question that's been driving me nuts and can't get it out of my head. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago at barnes and noble where we were both looking at PS books. He introduced himself, we talked for an hour he gave me his phone number and email, and we talked a few times since. Then we decided to meet up and were going to swap some tips and disks. I met him yesterday in his town about 30 miles from mine. He met me at a photo store and then we went to a park to take pics and he taught me some PS stuff. Things went really well, didn't seem awkward or anything. But then (about 5:00) he told me he had to be somewhere at 6, and we had just gotten together at 4. I understand that he probably had other plans, but I wish I would have known. I was going to be in town anyway, but I was sort of led to believe that we were going to hang out for quite a while. Anyway, when he leaves, he shakes my hand and gives me a 10% discount coupon to a local restaurant. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? He was quite flirty with me the whole time, and in previous talks before. I guess I'm just confused on whether or not he is wanting a friendship or something more...so he said to call him this week and we could probably get together again next saturday. I'm really confused at this point. Also I find out that next sunday is his bday. So today I called him to see if he wanted to get together for his bday and do something, and he said he would call me back later in the week and let me know.

I'm not the relationship type person here, so I'm a bit confused. Guys, what does it mean when you shake a girls hand ask to get together again and then sort of blow her off? I think maybe he's just nervous or something, but I need some help here. I'm totally cool with being friends, or vice versa, but I'm seriously confused at the moment and actually am finding this rather funny

So any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for letting me vent once again!!

santino · Apr 24, 2005

well... it's always hard to figure out if it's friendship or something more... people are different and so they behave different, for some it could mean "do you wanna go out with me"

and for some just friendship.

you gotta figure out what kind of guy he is.

PS: Girls, you do the same, so don't ask just the guys, I KNOW IT

Chase · Apr 24, 2005

First of all, what phone number did he give you? Is it a home number or a cell number? Have you talked to him very many times, and when you talked, was it for a long time each call?

Something sounds a little odd, but I would definitely say he is interested. For some reason, I get the feeling that he is in a relationship and maybe that is where you're picking up on some strangeness. Just a hunch.

LilCujo · Apr 24, 2005

Yeah, I kind of agree. It seems he is trying to hide something. I mean if he knew he had plans he could of just said hey I have something to do but if you still want to hang out until then. And hmm any guy who gives you a COUPON thats kinda odd...but thats just me. Your first reaction is always the right one, so don't put it aside. He sounds like a guy with orange caution cones around him.

Nikon Fan · Apr 24, 2005

It was his cell #, and email at both school and work. The coupon thing was weird but funny, he's a youth group leader for a high school and one of the kids he works with parents just opened a new restaurant. I sort of got the same feeling too...like he was in a relationship, but then again he really doesn't seem like the type of guy to do that either. The first phone call was about 30 mins, then the rest were 5-10, and today about 2. Something is strange that's for sure I just can't figure it. He spends loads of time with his youthgroup, work, and then at school, so I assumed that he was just crazy busy...but then agian who knows. Thanks for the comments so far...it's helping me to sort through things from other points of view

Nikon Fan · Apr 24, 2005

Forgot to add a what should I do? Should I just wait for him to call like he said, send him a nice friendly email about the weekend, not do anything at all...flat out ask what's up...or insert good advice here

Chase · Apr 24, 2005

I would probably wait for him to make the next move, just out of curiosity.

ShutteredEye · Apr 24, 2005

Amanda: Trust your instinct, you're probably right.

hobbes28 · Apr 25, 2005

Guys are weird, Amanda. We do things without any sort of reason behind it. I'd wait for him to call back later this week. And, to jump on the bandwagon, go with your gut. It's what knows best and the only part of you that won't lie.

Nikon Fan · Apr 25, 2005

Thanks guys

This has been quite helpful...I will wait on the call and see what happens...and as for my gut I will follow it, and right now it's leading me into the kitchen for a nice can of Coke

Thanks again for the help!!!!

ferny · Apr 30, 2005

He's either very nervous and wasn't sure what to do. Maybe he likes you?
Or, and this isn't very nice, he didn't have as much fun as he thought. Maybe him leaving was planned just in case he didn't like you? I'm not saying that's true but if that's the case then he's a tosser. At least you found out after a couple of hours instead on months/years.

I'd wait for him as well. Although I'd be tempted to come straight out and ask him in an e-mail.

karissa · Apr 30, 2005

Chase said:
I would probably wait for him to make the next move, just out of curiosity.

I have tried that a few times.. usually ends up bad... :roll:

Nikon Fan · May 1, 2005

Thanks Ferny and Karissa. I took the advice and waited, and so far no call. So I guess maybe my instincts were correct. I know he's an extremely busy guy, about to graduate college, church, friends, work, school, family, and a youth group, but still I think if he did honestly like me he would have made a quick phone call or email no matter how busy. So I guess that's that.

Chase · May 1, 2005

That's too bad. Just remember though, if he is that busy and something did get started between the two of you, you'd probably always be fighting for time with him.

Corry · May 1, 2005

Yeah...it's not fun when you are constantly fighting for time, either. My ex devoted hardly any of his time with me..I was lucky to see him once a week. It's pretty darn hard to form a bond when you barely see him.