Bridezilla!!!!

[Derrel]

It might take her seven months to find a "photographer" who will shoot her wedding for $150. Her comment that $400 is not cheap...man...there are weddings where one layer of the wedding cake costs $400, or where the tux rentals come to over $1,000...this woman is a good example of the Bridezilla term. You will be glad you are not associated with this wedding in any way possible after it is all over. And with her attitude, I'd expect that she'll be having another wedding in less than four years.

 

[Christie Photo]

I feel bad because this is probably going to ruin the friendship with my husband and his friend...

Going to? Too late. It's time for Steve to let his friend know that he won't be around that day. If someone spoke to my wife like she did, there's NO way I could go to that wedding and still look at myself in the mirror.

Don't worry... this marriage won't last long.

-Pete

 

[photographyfanatic]

OMG!!!!! YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE!!!! Stay clear of that wacko!

 

[AverageJoe]

Good lord! someone is actually marrying this person?

 

[Aye-non Oh-non Imus]

I think you made a wise decision to back out of this event. However, I think the response you received from bridezilla could have been mitigated had you been slightly more tactful with you decline. I have known trailer park people (not there's anything wrong with it), both good and bad. Whether anybody wants to admit it or not, there is a propensity for this stereo-typical mindset.

At the end of the day, none of your clients wants to know, nor do they care, what labor is involved for your job. Results are the only matter. Listing off the various aspects of what you actually would have to do, then rescind on the verbal agreement of $100 is in bad form, I think. Not only did you increase the price 4x, you insinuated that they are poor and that they will not be able to raise the money.

FFS, please use proper business language when responding to a client. With familiarity, business casual is okay. The line, "(Trust me. I know all about that money crap!)" has no place in written correspondence, regarding your business.

Why are you declaring that you need the money to buy new equipment? They don't care, except now they realize they are going to pay for it.

Why wasn't the possibility of a second shooter brought up when bridezilla began the exhaustive shot list? At least it would have been cause for a pause in your negotiations. "I'll get back to you in X number of days with a final figure." may be worth considering next time, unless you already have package deals set up.

Finally, twice you mentioned the word "greedy" in your response, referring to yourself. Why? You mentioned your lack of education. Why? You have all these deficits, but yet, you can justify a substantial price increase?


I'm not trying to jump down your throat KAikens318 :hugs: , I'm just playing devil's advocate. Information and words matter. Be wise about each.

 

[McMommy]

That's craziness! I'd drop her like a bad habit and NOT go back! For any reason, even if she offered to pay you more. Seven months is plenty of time for her to find a craptastic amateur photographer to shoot her wedding for $150. (Not saying you are... but a pro will laugh her out of their sight with what she is demanding.)

Good for you for standing your ground. It isn't always, or usually, easy, but it adds strength of character and value to you!

 

[KAikens318]

I think you made a wise decision to back out of this event. However, I think the response you received from bridezilla could have been mitigated had you been slightly more tactful with you decline. I have known trailer park people (not there's anything wrong with it), both good and bad. Whether anybody wants to admit it or not, there is a propensity for this stereo-typical mindset.

At the end of the day, none of your clients wants to know, nor do they care, what labor is involved for your job. Results are the only matter. Listing off the various aspects of what you actually would have to do, then rescind on the verbal agreement of $100 is in bad form, I think. Not only did you increase the price 4x, you insinuated that they are poor and that they will not be able to raise the money.

FFS, please use proper business language when responding to a client. With familiarity, business casual is okay. The line, "(Trust me. I know all about that money crap!)" has no place in written correspondence, regarding your business.

Why are you declaring that you need the money to buy new equipment? They don't care, except now they realize they are going to pay for it.

Why wasn't the possibility of a second shooter brought up when bridezilla began the exhaustive shot list? At least it would have been cause for a pause in your negotiations. "I'll get back to you in X number of days with a final figure." may be worth considering next time, unless you already have package deals set up.

Finally, twice you mentioned the word "greedy" in your response, referring to yourself. Why? You mentioned your lack of education. Why? You have all these deficits, but yet, you can justify a substantial price increase?


I'm not trying to jump down your throat KAikens318 :hugs: , I'm just playing devil's advocate. Information and words matter. Be wise about each.

This is someone who is a 'friend' or was anyway. That is just how we talk to each other. This was the email that I sent her, when I called her on the phone I just explained to her that the base price of $100 that I quoted her earlier was just that, a base price, until she knew what she wanted, and we had a written contract down for that specifically stating that the price was subject to go up considering the bride's specific needs. I would never say stuff like that to someone who was not a (well who I thought was) a somewhat close friend. This is why I don't want to do shoots for friends. You feel bad taking their money because they are your friend, yet you have a business to run. She implies herself that she is poor, not me. We had talked many times before about her budget and how she didn't have much more than $250 to spend, if that on the photos. She states all the time that she has no money and I was simply explaining to her that I was not expecting them to be able to pay the $400. Either way, she was extremely immature about it and I am glad that it's out of my hands now.

 

[Scatterbrained]

You could always suggest that they buy a bunch of disposable cameras and pass them out to everyone in attendance. That way they could get all the shots they want or can afford and no Photog has to deal with her.

 

[ghpham]

I think you made a wise decision to back out of this event. However, I think the response you received from bridezilla could have been mitigated had you been slightly more tactful with you decline. I have known trailer park people (not there's anything wrong with it), both good and bad. Whether anybody wants to admit it or not, there is a propensity for this stereo-typical mindset.

At the end of the day, none of your clients wants to know, nor do they care, what labor is involved for your job. Results are the only matter. Listing off the various aspects of what you actually would have to do, then rescind on the verbal agreement of $100 is in bad form, I think. Not only did you increase the price 4x, you insinuated that they are poor and that they will not be able to raise the money.

FFS, please use proper business language when responding to a client. With familiarity, business casual is okay. The line, "(Trust me. I know all about that money crap!)" has no place in written correspondence, regarding your business.

Why are you declaring that you need the money to buy new equipment? They don't care, except now they realize they are going to pay for it.

Why wasn't the possibility of a second shooter brought up when bridezilla began the exhaustive shot list? At least it would have been cause for a pause in your negotiations. "I'll get back to you in X number of days with a final figure." may be worth considering next time, unless you already have package deals set up.

Finally, twice you mentioned the word "greedy" in your response, referring to yourself. Why? You mentioned your lack of education. Why? You have all these deficits, but yet, you can justify a substantial price increase?


I'm not trying to jump down your throat KAikens318 :hugs: , I'm just playing devil's advocate. Information and words matter. Be wise about each.

This is someone who is a 'friend' or was anyway. That is just how we talk to each other. This was the email that I sent her, when I called her on the phone I just explained to her that the base price of $100 that I quoted her earlier was just that, a base price, until she knew what she wanted, and we had a written contract down for that specifically stating that the price was subject to go up considering the bride's specific needs. I would never say stuff like that to someone who was not a (well who I thought was) a somewhat close friend. This is why I don't want to do shoots for friends. You feel bad taking their money because they are your friend, yet you have a business to run. She implies herself that she is poor, not me. We had talked many times before about her budget and how she didn't have much more than $250 to spend, if that on the photos. She states all the time that she has no money and I was simply explaining to her that I was not expecting them to be able to pay the $400. Either way, she was extremely immature about it and I am glad that it's out of my hands now.

Well, friend or not, in a professional setting such as this, you should have respond accordingly and not the way you have handled it. I'm not dumping on you, but you need to train yourself to act in a professional manner if you wish to continue to be in business.

Frankly speaking, I can never understand why someone would choose to charge only 150 for a wedding, a full day no less.

 

[scorpion_tyr]

My response is quite different from others here from what I read. I'm still a noob myself with only a few years, and a handfull of paid shoots, but here's my take on things.

It's your first wedding, so do the shoot. Explain to her that photography isn't an exact science, more of an art, so if she already has a very detailed and specific picture in mind, she might get something close, but not exact at all. You can't promise you'll get the shot, only that she's paying you to try your best for the agreed amount of time.

If you do the shoot, and put up with her, it's just that much more experience you have. Add the wedding shots to your portfolio, because from what I've seen, it's hard to book a wedding unless you've already done one.

Learn from the experience. Honestly with people like that they usually never get what they want so she'll probably complain about the shots afterwards, but who knows? You might really impress her and get future business from her friends. If you don't want to work with her in the future, politely decline.

Just my opinion, but if you're really trying to make photography a source of income instead of just a hobby, you need to take advantage of every situation that comes along, good or bad, because you'll learn, and make some money, from both. After you have this, and maybe more weddings down you can pick and choose your clients, but right now, I would say take every shoot you can!

 

[seekcreative]

You should go to the wedding incognito with about 4 or 5 disposable cameras, snap them at your leisure...and not even of the wedding party, just of the pews (or the wood grain paneling), fixtures, ooohhh thats pretty...and then just a portion of her dress in the shot, maybe the back of her head and things. Then sneak into the "bring your own beverage in a bag" reception and take it all in, it will make you feel better about yourself.

Then develop those pics - don't spend a lot of money, you should be able to develop 5 cameras for....$1.50? - and send her the pics, all scattered, upside down, right side up...in a brown manilla envelope with a very polite bill - "Pay Me $95 and you can have all these!"

A little hump day humor...

 

[FrankLamont]

Despite the fact, seekcreative, that that's not very nice thing to do?

Primarily, it would affect her professionalism and business.

 

[erichards]

You could always suggest that they buy a bunch of disposable cameras and pass them out to everyone in attendance. That way they could get all the shots they want or can afford and no Photog has to deal with her.

This generally will end up costing a heck of a lot more than the $150 that KAikens318 would have charged.
Also, it was terrible form to have worded that e-mail as KAikens318 did, not only degrading a client (former or current) and yourself! I have shot weddings/events/senior pictures for friends and family and you need to take a hint from the Godfather, "It's not personal it's just business.", they may not think so but you need to be professional at all times!!! If for no other reason than now your Bridezilla has written proof that you are not worthy of the title of Professional. Professionals get that title for a reason...they are professional at all times!
Going to the wedding in 'secret' would just further the unprofessionalism and damage your (KAikens318) reputation as a photographer even more.
Not dumping on you, just letting you know.

 

[Josh220]

Tell a dumb redneck that they are dumb and you are going to get a dumb redneck response. You must speak slowly, clearly, and at all times you must speak professionally to these people regardless of your relationship.

 

[magkelly]

You know I've run into this situation so many times it's not even funny. All my friends know I have some real training so of course I get asked to man the camera for all the weddings, and of course they all want me to do that for FREE. Because they're so broke they can hardly afford the minister and the license, but they have to get married and they have have a big party, the fancy dress, and tons of pretty pictures anyway...

I don't even have the right set up for doing it yet, and most of these people know that, yet they still ask, then grumble when I say I'm not available to do that as yet. (Probably won't ever be if I can help it!)

Yeah, I want to build my portfolio, but I can actually do that without shooting a couple of dozen free weddings for people I only vaguely know who will expect a $2000 job done for gratis. It's called staging shots that LOOK like a real wedding has occurred and it's a lot easier than the real thing, trust me. Me, I'd rather hire a few people and make it LOOK like the real thing than actually go there, seriously.

She balked at $150?

You can't even walk into a mall portrait studio in my town and get a decent engaged couple shot for $150. The whole wedding for $150? I mean GET REAL. That's just insane. A real wedding photographer even a cheap student one, you're still talking a $500 or more at minimum, and that's just for the main portrait shots, not for photographing an entire event. For that a grand or more at the least no matter how small the wedding.

As much as I prefer it, I blame digital for people acting like this. When you had to shoot 15 rolls of film to get half a dozen good shots people were more understanding about the work and the skill necessary for some reason. Now anyone with a digital camera thinks they can really do it all themselves and that if you charge anything real for a whole day's work plus then you're being greedy for asking.

You know what I say to people like that?

Go ahead DO it yourself and just leave me out of it.

Honestly, I decided not long into my training that I just wasn't going to do weddings even though they can be lucrative events. I can't stand the whole scene. The brides with their nuptial obsession thing, their temper attacks which you're always supposed to excuse because it's just "bridal nerves." The 10,000 changes they always have to make at the very last minute plus the continual renegotiating that is necessary for the photographer just to get paid. I've seen more than enough of that helping a pro I know do his thing to ever want to do it myself. Even when I go pro I will not likely do them, ever.

Just give me my beginner wanna be model/actor head shots, my kid and pet shots, my boudoir work, catalog and stock work and let me stay FAR away from the madhouse that is a "normal' wedding.

That's always been my idea of a photo shoot from hell assignment, doing a wedding. I'd sign up to do photo journalism in Iraq before I'd ever sign up to become a professional wedding photographer.

No kidding....