I will probably try to re-read your post later, I think I missed something.
First and foremost "stick to your guns". Tell the bride that you have edited the photos for quality and content, which is a common practice, therefore some are rejected (for poor composition, lighting, focus etc.) and some (for artistic reasons) play better in B&W or by some other manipulation. Also explain that yes, you were happy [lie] to share in her day but the photos are a representation of your photographic work and you need [and will - be very firm here] to control the overall "product", which are your images. Also try to explain the she hired you as a knowledgeable professional and she needs to trust your judgment.
If this fails... play the "did you a favor because of budget" card or my favorite, Tell her [politely] to eat a big ole bowl of "Get Over It".
Hope this helps.
Seriously... you control your photos!!! It's your reputation at stake. If she shows the ones you think are bad to other people, this might hurt you down the road. Also, if you don't use a contract now, please consider putting these types of stipulations into the contract (bold, underlined... you have full creative control of all images blah, blah, blah!).
It may be her wedding but it is Your reputation! Random chance causes some photos to be sub (to your) standard and you will not have your name associated with them in any way, therefore, you deleted them as they were never going to see the light of day.
Yes... and estimated is a great word. I tend to estimate [to myself] how many shots I'll take for whatever event, and then generally half that number (so I think I'll take 1000 shots, I'll say something like I "estimate" to proof you out 500 images). That way I can surprise them when I produce 750 proofs of those images (hopefully) and they think their getting more bang for the buck when in all actuality, you have kicked out 25% of the bad [to you] shots.
Wow you guys are a lot nicer than I am! I only take (depending on the wedding) 200 shots. But then again the last few weddings I did as favors for family members.
But I agree with Mike_E. It may be her wedding, and she is "hopefully" only going to get married once, you on the other hand are going to take wedding pictures for more than one couple. They are YOUR photos, you are the one who created them. And it is also your reputation. So you need to be firm and tell her that although it was her day, these are your photos, and you will make the final decision on what will or will not be on the cd. If she doesn't like it, don't look at those pictures.
Your bridezilla sounds just about as good as mine.. But I'm not going to steal your limelight.:lmao:
In my wedding I had bridezilla's mother to deal with and my mother, not to mention, the bride and grooms families didn't like each other, and the brides parents hated each other.. SOOO that made for a wonderful night..
I would remind her that even though she is the bride... YOU OWN THE PHOTOS. You are the one that crops the image and her manipulation done to the images violates your copyright and she does not have you permission to manipulate them in any way.
If this fails... (and I know this is a hard pill to swallow) demand the cd that you have given to her and all copies, then refund the money less any materials and the pure hourly cost. Walk away.
This bride will KILL your reputation if you let her. Shut her up as quickly as you can. But be firm... stick to your guns. DO NOT give in to her. If you do this time, you'll not recover from it very quickly.
edit: I just read that you have not given her a cd... GREAT! Tell her that this [getting all the photos] is absolutely NOT what other photographers do. She will be a hard one for you but do this... give her your edited pics only. No B&W or crops or anything even if it's only 300 photos. Tell her that you have removed the sub-standard photos and the will not in any way be included in the cd... period.