I will probably try to re-read your post later, I think I missed something.
First and foremost "stick to your guns". Tell the bride that you have edited the photos for quality and content, which is a common practice, therefore some are rejected (for poor composition, lighting, focus etc.) and some (for artistic reasons) play better in B&W or by some other manipulation. Also explain that yes, you were happy [lie] to share in her day but the photos are a representation of your photographic work and you need [and will - be very firm here] to control the overall "product", which are your images. Also try to explain the she hired you as a knowledgeable professional and she needs to trust your judgment.
If this fails... play the "did you a favor because of budget" card or my favorite, Tell her [politely] to eat a big ole bowl of "Get Over It".
Hope this helps.
Seriously... you control your photos!!! It's your reputation at stake. If she shows the ones you think are bad to other people, this might hurt you down the road. Also, if you don't use a contract now, please consider putting these types of stipulations into the contract (bold, underlined... you have full creative control of all images blah, blah, blah!).
David