i think the lighting on the left (the subject's right) has darkened the lines around the eyes too harshly and made them too noticeable. I feel like that shouldn't stand out so much, or be so noticeable on one side of the face and not the other. If nothing else from a quick practice shot you can learn what didn't work and rule that out, the figure out what adjustments to try next time.
I tend to agree. I think the main light was placed too close to the subject, creating a very bright highlighted side of the face, and a quite-dark shadow side; this is due to the main light falling-off in brightness at too steep of a rate. The shot has a sort of split-personality,lighting wise...one side light and bright, the shadow side of the face dark,and wrinkled-looking around the under-eye area. The shadow-side nose shadow is small, but very dark in tone, and the highlight side's neck skin looks okay, but on the shadow side, the neck skin looks less than appealing by way of comparison with the skin on the other side. The man is also very much pressing the boundaries of the frame, at the top, and at the collar.
In a way, the lighting is okay, kind of rugged, but as a "professional headshot", I'm not sure if the lighting setup is exactly what one might want to have. Still...on the right subject, this lighting could look good. I think the man looks like a foreman in the building trades, with a little bit of stubble, and a casual, open-collar, seven-button shirt. Not sure exactly what it is you want to hear or to have answered; the term "professional headshot" is what's confusing me, since I am not sure if you mean professionally-lighted and photographed headshot OR a headshot for a person in a "professional" line of work like doctor/lawyer/dentist/executive.
As far as your new backdrop: I like the light-gray rendering of it!