i have a smaller fill flash strobe with a gold umbrella ... should of used it
Maybe not. Before adding a light source with a differing color temperature, consider how you're using these two.
Think of it like this: When making a photograph, we record reflected (or transmitted) light. So it would follow... no light, no record.
The next thing to remember is that a portrait is a two-dimensional representation of a three-dimensional subject. The first way to commicate shape is with shadow and highlight. Since we need to light everything to achieve a record, a good starting point is to achieve a 3:1 ratio between the highlights and shadows.
The role of the fill light is to light the shadow areas of the portrait. Place the fill light close to the camera so that it affords flat, nearly shadowless results... illuminating the entire scene. Now, eveything has been blanketed with ONE UNIT of light. That takes care of recording detail in the shadows.
Now to add the highlights. That's the job of the main light (also called the key light). The job of a softbox is to make a small light source into a larger light source, diffusing and scattering the light. We get the most benifit of a softbox when it is placed close to the subject, keeping it relationally large in comparison to the subject. For a conventional portrait, it should be positioned above and to one side of the subject. In order to achieve a 3:1 ratio, this light should be powered to add twice the level of light on the subject that we already have from the fill light. In other words, the main light is giving off TWO UNITS of light. So.... if we already have one unit of light on the entire subject, adding two units on some of the areas gives us a total of three units in the highlights and one in the shadows.... a 3:1 lighting ratio.
Now we can add other lights to enhance the portrait. A background light will communicate seperation of the subject from the background. Remember: no light, no record. So if no light is falling on the background, we get black.
SO.... before adding lights, consider if the first two lights are doing thier job.
I hope this helps.
-Pete