Being asked to shoot a wedding when you aren't a wedding photographer

[Ballistics]

You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...

There is always a 'first time' - I say go for it. This will let you know if weddings are something you want to get into, or something you want to avoid.

Yes, it could end badly - that's the chance you have to take. I think you'll do at least "OK" though.

It sounds like the perfect chance to get your feet wet - no real expectations that you can't deliver, and it's something new and challenging. A challenge is always good every now and then.

That is all well and good when it is not at the expense of others.

You are aware that these people approached me right?

 

[tirediron]

That post was appreciated tire and I will make note of all of that, but I am interested in why your main suggestion is to refuse?

Because you don't want to learn on someone else's important life moment. You also don't want people paying for you to learn either.

When people hire wedding photographer they expect professional service and results.

It is not something to take lightly.

This. Exactly! It's one thing to shoot a wedding for a couple who absolutely cannot afford anything more, but I get the impression "they like my work" really means that they're hoping to save a buck on the photography, and if your results aren't up to their (read: "her") expectations, it could get VERY uncomfortable, especially given the relationship here.

 

[Parker219]

So, you want to gather as much info before making a decision, yet you should also let them know either way so they will know if you are doing it or not right?

So my question is, what percent chance are you going to do the wedding at this point?

 

[tirediron]

You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...

There is always a 'first time' - I say go for it. This will let you know if weddings are something you want to get into, or something you want to avoid.

Yes, it could end badly - that's the chance you have to take. I think you'll do at least "OK" though.

It sounds like the perfect chance to get your feet wet - no real expectations that you can't deliver, and it's something new and challenging. A challenge is always good every now and then.

That is all well and good when it is not at the expense of others.

You are aware that these people approached me right?

Understood.... but remember, you're dealing with a bride. Brides (and mothers of brides) are not always rational and what they thought they [she] thought they wanted often turns out a lot less than they expect.

 

[Josh66]

You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...

There is always a 'first time' - I say go for it. This will let you know if weddings are something you want to get into, or something you want to avoid.

Yes, it could end badly - that's the chance you have to take. I think you'll do at least "OK" though.

It sounds like the perfect chance to get your feet wet - no real expectations that you can't deliver, and it's something new and challenging. A challenge is always good every now and then.

That is all well and good when it is not at the expense of others.

So you're basically saying that you should not shoot weddings unless you've shot X weddings before? How exactly does one break into the 'wedding photographer' market?

Second shoot for a while, I suppose. That would be the 'right' way to do it. You have to have your 'first time' eventually - if he does this shoot, his first time won't be exactly optimal - but I've seen his work, and I think he'll do a better job than a lot of the people we see posting questions here nearly on a daily basis asking question about their first shoot.

I mean, Ballistics may not have shot a wedding before, but he isn't exactly a noob. I'm confident that he can do at least passable work on this... It probably won't be magazine worthy, but unless I've read too much into it, it will certainly be better than the alternative.

They know this will all be new for him, I'm sure they aren't expecting magazine quality photos from his first time out. You have to get your feet wet eventually though, right?

This seems like a chance to do that without a huge burden on him.

If you crash & burn - lesson learned, hopefully. Make changes, or don't do it again. At the very least, this will let you know if weddings are even something you want to pursue further.

 

[Ballistics]

That post was appreciated tire and I will make note of all of that, but I am interested in why your main suggestion is to refuse?

Because you don't want to learn on someone else's important life moment. You also don't want people paying for you to learn either.

When people hire wedding photographer they expect professional service and results.

It is not something to take lightly.

This. Exactly! It's one thing to shoot a wedding for a couple who absolutely cannot afford anything more, but I get the impression "they like my work" really means that they're hoping to save a buck on the photography, and if your results aren't up to their (read: "her") expectations, it could get VERY uncomfortable, especially given the relationship here.

I said that in the OP -

Also, I'm well aware that they are looking for a deal, and think that photography is photography, which is why they aren't looking for an established pro, but a friend of a friend, but that doesn't really concern me.

I'll give them another shot to truly understand the nature of hiring someone that has 0 experience in wedding photography and see if they make the decision for them to find someone else before I do.
I plan on finding out what her expectations are specifically and letting her know if I can meet them or not.

 

[Ballistics]

So, you want to gather as much info before making a decision, yet you should also let them know either way so they will know if you are doing it or not right?

So my question is, what percent chance are you going to do the wedding at this point?

Yeah, unless you want me to blindlessly make my decision and just say yes

As for the percentage. I have 2 options: To shoot or not to shoot. I'll let you work that math out.

 

[Josh66]

I would maybe do a portrait shoot of the couple now, and see how they react to those photos before making a final decision. Just a thought...

 

[manaheim]

I totally understand what you're saying... you've decided to do it, and you're looking for information/advice on how to do it... not asking for whether or not you should. I get it, but folks here are telling you to not do it for a reason, and I think you should take it seriously.

You said many key things...

1. You're a student. To me this says you're somewhat new to photography at a professional level.
2. You're not used to that kind of environment- more working in a studio. To me this says that you're going to be unprepared.
3. Your wife's bosses sister. This means if you mess this up, not only will you have ruined someone's memories but you will be putting your wife's employment in an awkward situation.

Look... I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't try new things, and yes... EVERY wedding photographer has to start somewhere. Yes, some wedding photographers just grab a camera and get to it, and yes some of them become very successful or do very well with it. Are you going to be one of those? Maybe! But is it likely? No, not really.

I've been pretty much obsessing about photography for somewhere close to 10 years now. I'm very comfortable with it, have some very good gear, and have been to many weddings as a guest and even attended my own. I went as a SECOND shooter for my first wedding a year and a half ago and BOY was I shocked to find out how woefully unprepared I was to handle it.

Now, some 15 weddings later... I can say that I only feel SORTA unprepared when shooting them. Weddings are seriously complicated.

- The lighting tends to be pretty rough.
- The specific requirements of any given venue can be pretty complicated.
- You need to be coordinated with all the local staff and you need to know what you're doing or they'll get very irked with you.
- You need to make sure you're at the right places at the right times or you'll miss key shots.
- You have to understand all the "core shots" and be sure to get them, but also be sure to get some artistic shots that really make the day.
- You have heavy dependencies on reliable gear and need to have backup gear in case anything goes wrong.
- You have to be pretty damned fit... you'll be on your feet 10-14 hours easy, with very few breaks.
- You have to be really good at working with lots of different people.
- You have to be able to deal with bridezillas and momzillas if it comes up.

Oh and you have to slip all your standard photography skills in there, and have to be 100% on your game and able to switch things around in a SECOND because things move SUPER fast at weddings, and you have ZERO time to be going "gee, what f-stop should I be using here?"

I normally don't jump in on these threads and pig-pile onto the "no don't do it" crowd, but seriously... dude... your wife's bosses sister.

NOT A GOOD IDEA. NOT AT ALL.

 

[Ballistics]

You will never go anywhere if you always refuse to do things you haven't done before...

There is always a 'first time' - I say go for it. This will let you know if weddings are something you want to get into, or something you want to avoid.

Yes, it could end badly - that's the chance you have to take. I think you'll do at least "OK" though.

It sounds like the perfect chance to get your feet wet - no real expectations that you can't deliver, and it's something new and challenging. A challenge is always good every now and then.

That is all well and good when it is not at the expense of others.

So you're basically saying that you should not shoot weddings unless you've shot X weddings before? How exactly does one break into the 'wedding photographer' market?

Second shoot for a while, I suppose. That would be the 'right' way to do it. You have to have your 'first time' eventually - if he does this shoot, his first time won't be exactly optimal - but I've seen his work, and I think he'll do a better job than a lot of the people we see posting questions here nearly on a daily basis asking question about their first shoot.

I mean, Ballistics may not have shot a wedding before, but he isn't exactly a noob. I'm confident that he can do at least passable work on this... It probably won't be magazine worthy, but unless I've read too much into it, it will certainly be better than the alternative.

They know this will all be new for him, I'm sure they aren't expecting magazine quality photos from his first time out. You have to get your feet wet eventually though, right?

This seems like a chance to do that without a huge burden on him.

If you crash & burn - lesson learned, hopefully. Make changes, or don't do it again. At the very least, this will let you know if weddings are even something you want to pursue further.

Oh... you.

 

[Ballistics]

It's almost like my conscience has made a bunch of screen names and are now talking out the pros and cons of shooting the wedding right here on TPF!

 

[manaheim]

hahah... that's an amusing way of thinking about it.

 

[Ballistics]

I totally understand what you're saying... you've decided to do it, and you're looking for information/advice on how to do it... not asking for whether or not you should. I get it, but folks here are telling you to not do it for a reason, and I think you should take it seriously.

I haven't decided to do it. I've decided to consider and in give it serious thought and look into what goes into it before I decide to or not to do it.

You said many key things...

1. You're a student. To me this says you're somewhat new to photography at a professional level.
2. You're not used to that kind of environment- more working in a studio. To me this says that you're going to be unprepared.
3. Your wife's bosses sister. This means if you mess this up, not only will you have ruined someone's memories but you will be putting your wife's employment in an awkward situation.

#3 doesn't bother me at all. It sounds like a crappy thing to say, but without going into details of my wife's employment or her relationship with her boss, I'm confident that even if
I really bombed the hell out of this wedding that not much will change for my wife and her job. Sounds like a perfect world scenario, but everyone is just going to have to take my word on that.

Look... I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't try new things, and yes... EVERY wedding photographer has to start somewhere. Yes, some wedding photographers just grab a camera and get to it, and yes some of them become very successful or do very well with it. Are you going to be one of those? Maybe! But is it likely? No, not really.

You're probably right. And I honestly believe that, which is why I said no in the first place.

I've been pretty much obsessing about photography for somewhere close to 10 years now. I'm very comfortable with it, have some very good gear, and have been to many weddings as a guest and even attended my own. I went as a SECOND shooter for my first wedding a year and a half ago and BOY was I shocked to find out how woefully unprepared I was to handle it.

Now, some 15 weddings later... I can say that I only feel SORTA unprepared when shooting them. Weddings are seriously complicated.

- The lighting tends to be pretty rough.
- The specific requirements of any given venue can be pretty complicated.
- You need to be coordinated with all the local staff and you need to know what you're doing or they'll get very irked with you.
- You need to make sure you're at the right places at the right times or you'll miss key shots.
- You have to understand all the "core shots" and be sure to get them, but also be sure to get some artistic shots that really make the day.
- You have heavy dependencies on reliable gear and need to have backup gear in case anything goes wrong.
- You have to be pretty damned fit... you'll be on your feet 10-14 hours easy, with very few breaks.
- You have to be really good at working with lots of different people.
- You have to be able to deal with bridezillas and momzillas if it comes up.

Oh and you have to slip all your standard photography skills in there, and have to be 100% on your game and able to switch things around in a SECOND because things move SUPER fast at weddings, and you have ZERO time to be going "gee, what f-stop should I be using here?"

All noted, and I'll be sure to refer back to this post in the near future (seriously)

I normally don't jump in on these threads and pig-pile onto the "no don't do it" crowd, but seriously... dude... your wife's bosses sister.

NOT A GOOD IDEA. NOT AT ALL.

Is the boss thing the only reason why you think it's a bad idea?

 

[Ballistics]

Let me also mention that this isn't the first wedding that I've turned down (if I turn it down). This will be the 3rd wedding that I turn down, so I've given this thought in the past but
just said no and left it at that. But given the nature of this one, and the persistence of the person, I am considering it.

 

[Ballistics]

I would maybe do a portrait shoot of the couple now, and see how they react to those photos before making a final decision. Just a thought...

This is something that I honestly considered. Truthfully.