CC, please

[Evertking]

I'm really trying to get better but when I ask my wife and kids how things are they just say "Oh, hunny that looks amazing! Could you take that trash out for me" and well.. I don't see much coming out of that. So... Let me have it... I got my box of tissues ready.

 

[Destin]

Pros: I like the lighting and processing on both images quite a bit. I think there is a ton of potential here with some tweaking.

Image 1 CC: I'm not a huge fan of the way she's facing out of the frame and away from the dead space to camera left. My eyes go to her, and then immediately out the right side of the frame. Maybe you were trying to use the fence as a leading line? But it just isn't doing it for me.. I think the leading line idea works better with a tighter crop. The amount of dead space in general is just too much for me, I'd prefer to see her somewhat larger in the frame. The wrinkles in her shirt bother me. I'm not a fan of the fact that her right hand disappears behind her head and looks amputated. I think a simple crop could improve this photo greatly, like this:

Image 2 CC: This is a much stronger composition, though I'm not a fan of the fact that her right elbow is clipped out of the frame. You could also make her look much slimmer by having her stand at more of an angle to the camera.. This nearly straight on angle makes her appear heavier than she actually is (true of both photos).

 

[Evertking]

Thank you very much.

 

[Destin]

Thank you very much.

Re-reading my CC and I realized that I may have come off somewhat condescending. Really didn't mean it that way.. I'm just not the world's most tactful person. Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing more of your photos!

 

[Evertking]

Na, and I honestly do appreciate your being honest with me. I think this part is important for one to get better. I feel like I'm stuck, I put in the practice and get out and shoot almost everyday but don't feel like I'm getting any better so I thought I would throw it out and see what I need to work on.

 

[Derrel]

The horizontal shot has her line of sight slamming into the "short side" of the frame, with all of that empty space camera left...this is simply the wrong approach to composition, unless you deliberately want to create visual tension. Having her off to the right hand side of the frame is a major compositional no-no in most cases. This looks to me to be a misuse of the common folk wisdom of "the rule of thirds", which is a made-up, new thing with no basis in actual fine art history (do some serious research and it's clear where "ROT" came from!).

I agree with destin's C&C.

My biggest issue of concern after the use of the compositional area is the weird eye coloration...that eye coloration just looks unnatural. I have never seen a human with eyes of that color...it's just over the top.

The light you found and the light you created is nice. Perhaps more subtlety in matching the flash with the ambient lighting? The rim light is nice, as is the back-lighted backdrop!

As far as "getting better", I feel like I got better in stages; first at five years, then at 20 years, then at 35 years, then at 40 years behind the lens. I made some big leaps, in each decade I was shooting pictures. Now, with 44 years behind the lens, I can make pictures that I like,easily, wherever I am at

A couple things: In shot #1, her blouse makes a rectangular shape; perhaps a clip behind could be used to crete a waistline or bustline shape clue, rather than the way the garment shows up without a stylist managing the clothing's shape on-camera.

The more close-up photo...her's a crop of it, designed to eliminate the clip on the left side, and to give her eyes some space to look into.

I do not think this is a successful photo...even cropped...the blouse looks unattractive, and does not flatter her figure or face...

THIS photo, the way I have cropped it, is much better than the way it was originally shown, IMHO.

 

[Derrel]

Here's the second shot with quick noise reduction added as skin smoothing, and some darkening of the lighting, and a bit of dodging of the bokeh balls... a different image than your original or my first edit, to be sure...

Darkened on the face and hair, to more closely-match the overall, ambient light from the late afternoon sun...more moody, more "realistic", less "strobed" as far as lighting goes. This is a 30-second Lightroom adjustment, from a JPEG. Not a masterpiece, but from the .CR2 file, I am sure a fine, fine image can be created from this capture.

 

[Evertking]

Yep, I need to go back to the laptop.. lol.. good job and THANK you. The noise reduction slider.. I don't really know what that is used for but I do notice that it makes the image look..smooth?? Am I right? I see images here, on Facebook groups and they have this glossy, finished look. Like magazine ready, I guess that's what I'm trying to say. How is that done? The noise reduction slider?
Did you just use the burn tool in lightroom to darken her and the background? Didn't really notice the "flash" look till you posted that one. Big difference! Thanks for your help.

 

[ceemac]

Haha. I missed all the things Derrel said. But i can't get past that thing growing out of the back of her head. I still live in a glass house, but I did read in an article to be careful of backgrounds merging when composing a picture.

 

[Derrel]

Yep, I need to go back to the laptop.. lol.. good job and THANK you. The noise reduction slider.. I don't really know what that is used for but I do notice that it makes the image look..smooth?? Am I right? I see images here, on Facebook groups and they have this glossy, finished look. Like magazine ready, I guess that's what I'm trying to say. How is that done? The noise reduction slider?
Did you just use the burn tool in lightroom to darken her and the background? Didn't really notice the "flash" look till you posted that one. Big difference! Thanks for your help.

I used noise reduction in Lightroom...it has several sliders that one can adjust. ANd yes, it was used to simply smooth the skin and hair and create a more smooth-looking image. I darkened the image using Minus Exposure in Lightroom, then used the Dodge tool to lighten the bokeh balls a bit. As to the flash look...I can see that she's been lighten by flash, so my goal was to create a less-exposed, darker overall look to her face, so that she is a bit dimmer, and closer in brightness value to say, a very late-afternoon outdoor light level.