Crazy, wacky and just plain dumb late/no-show excuces.

[480sparky40 39]

Yep, we've all heard them! Outrageous excuses for someone being late or not showing up for work. Let's hear 'em.

My favorites (for being late): "I had a heart attack on my way in and pulled over until it passed." (For a no-show): "I couldn't fit my bag of chips into my lunch cooler so I had to go shopping for a new cooler."


Your turn!

 

[robbins.photo]

My personal favorite was a guy who called in Saturday morning and told me he couldn't make it in because he couldn't afford to put enough gas in his car to make it to work. Thing is he got paid the day before on Friday. So I asked him how he planned to make it to work for the next two weeks if he was already broke and couldn't put gas in his car the day after payday. He started into some long convoluted story about how he wasn't sure how he was going to be able to make it to work on time each day but he was going to try to borrow some money from this person and that person and that he might be able to make it to work at least a couple of days that week but he wasn't real sure which days.

I told him no problem, I could solve that issue for him easily enough. Fired him. Problem solved.

 

[manicmike]

A guy I used to work with told the boss he was late because he was at a job interview. Yeah, he was fired on the spot.

 

[Designer]

More than once an employee called in to say she couldn't get in because of the snow, however all of the clients made it just fine.

Not really as outrageous as above.

 

[sm4him]

I've known women who called in for days because they had gotten a haircut or had their hair dyed, and it ended badly, and they didn't want to be seen in public until they could bleach it out or get it recut.

And--not a late or "call in" story, but related:
A girl in our department told my boss that she was quitting (with no notice, just there one day, called in and quit the next&#8230 and her reason was that she'd lost her apartment and so she needed the time to find a new place to live.
Sooooo….you're gonna quit your job, so you can have more time to find a place to live, which you won't be able to afford because you have no job??? Alrighty then.
Of course, it also turned out that the reason she lost her apartment was because she was living with a guy who worked in the same department, who had, until about a month prior, been her direct boss. He'd already been fired, but nobody knew that she was the girl he was living with. Oh, yeah--the other critical little piece of information--he was already MARRIED to someone else. :lmao:

 

[limr30 3]

I don't have employees but every single semester, a student's grandmother dies.

 

[TheNevadanStig]

"Nothing happened really, I just didn't want to come in".
Unrelated, but needs sharing, a women was suspended at my wife's last job for having at heart attack at work. 100% no BS I am glad my wife is no longer with that company.

 

[Rick58]

I had a girl bite her tongue so she couldn't talk. She thought it would be best to stay home so it could heal.

Another employee had ham and eggs for breakfast. He swore someone put something in the ham that made him fall back to sleep.

 

[sm4him]

I don't have employees but every single semester, a student's grandmother dies.

Oh, that reminds me of the time, years ago, that a guy called in to work and said his grandmother had died. Only problem was, one of his direct relatives ALSO worked for the same company, so he was "outed" pretty quickly!

 

[sm4him]

"Nothing happened really, I just didn't want to come in".
Unrelated, but needs sharing, a women was suspended at my wife's last job for having at heart attack at work. 100% no BS I am glad my wife is no longer with that company.

^ :lmao: at that first one. At least they should get points for honesty. There are days when that's EXACTLY what I'd have to say, if I was completely honest about it. :lmao:

Not so funny about the second one, but I know some of THOSE stories too.

 

[limr30 3]

I had a girl bite her tongue so she couldn't talk. She thought it would be best to stay home so it could heal.

Another employee had ham and eggs for breakfast. He swore someone put something in the ham that made him fall back to sleep.

I don't know what it is, but this part just hit me in the right way and I've been giggling uncontrollably :mrgreen:

 

[limr30 3]

I don't have employees but every single semester, a student's grandmother dies.

Oh, that reminds me of the time, years ago, that a guy called in to work and said his grandmother had died. Only problem was, one of his direct relatives ALSO worked for the same company, so he was "outed" pretty quickly!

Yeah, a student can't really by 'outed' because the grandmothers are rarely students in the same class But I had a colleague who had a student tell her that his grandmother died...and then she died again later in the semester. He'd forgotten to at least say it was his other grandmother.

 

[SquarePeg37 8]

"I had a dream that you called and told me that you didn't need me to come in this morning."

Said by me when I was a teenager and worked the breakfast shift at a local diner. It was totally true btw. No one believe me. I was fired.

 

[Gavjenks]

I don't have employees but every single semester, a student's grandmother dies.

if you have 40+ students or so, this might be legit. Grandmothers are pretty old when kids are in college.
You should run a statistical model to see how much higher than chance it really is.

I've known women who called in for days because they had gotten a haircut or had their hair dyed, and it ended badly, and they didn't want to be seen in public until they could bleach it out or get it recut.

Pfft, when I was in high school working as a lifeguard, a girl once refused to SAVE a kid, because she was worried about getting her hairdo wet! Somebody had to run over from like all the damn way across the waterpark and jump in instead.

Seems like something you should go to jail for a couple months for or whatnot, or community service. I think she was just plain old fired though.

 

[limr30 3]

I don't have employees but every single semester, a student's grandmother dies.

if you have 40+ students or so, this might be legit. Grandmothers are pretty old when kids are in college.
You should run a statistical model to see how much higher than chance it really is.

Oh, I'm sure some of them are legit. Some are not. The ones that are suspect are the grandmothers that die very conveniently on the day the research paper is due, or the day of an exam.

Just this morning, I got an email from a student who missed class yesterday because of an uncle's funeral, and oh yes by the way, he "forgot" to submit the ONLINE assignment that was due three days prior, so could he just bring it to class next week? Is the uncle dead? Possibly. Did he not do the assignment because of the uncle? Possibly. But it's fishy. And I don't accept late work unless it's discussed BEFORE the due date.

I've known women who called in for days because they had gotten a haircut or had their hair dyed, and it ended badly, and they didn't want to be seen in public until they could bleach it out or get it recut.

Pfft, when I was in high school working as a lifeguard, a girl once refused to SAVE a kid, because she was worried about getting her hairdo wet! Somebody had to run over from like all the damn way across the waterpark and jump in instead.

Seems like something you should go to jail for a couple months for or whatnot, or community service. I think she was just plain old fired though.

Actually, depending on the state case law, she could have faced criminal and/or civil charges. Her job gave her a duty for care that she ignored. That's negligence. If the person wasn't harmed, then there might not have been much to sue her for in civil court, but she's lucky that someone else helped before the person was injured or dead.