Deep Thoughts..

ratssass · Jan 20, 2014

"What deep thinkers men are... I watched the playoff games yesterday, and after they were over I sat down and had a nice cold beer. I'm not much of a beer drinker but the day was really quite beautiful here in SoCal, and the beer facilitated some deep thinking.

My girlfriend walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.

Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case"

pgriz · Jan 20, 2014

You obviously haven't witnessed a woman give birth without any epidural block. Let me paint the picture. The orifice in question, which normally operates at about f/64, is now opened to f/1.2. Unfortunately, the diaphragm is not made from sliding metal leaves, but is living tissue, and this is now stretched about 600%. Furthermore, this stretching can continue for anywhere from three to twelve (or even more) hours. If you've ever had the pleasure of being severely constipated, and had to pass something the size of a cantaloupe, and had to do it over 3-12 hours, which would you pick - a quick kick, or the other? I speak of first-hand experience as the witness to my wife giving birth three times, each time without epidural blocks. The fact that she could still speak pretty civilly with the attendant staff, and even me, despite what she was going through, forever branded in my mind just how strong she was/is. Of course, not every woman goes through this, but it is pretty awe-inspiring when you do witness this act.

I know you were musing in a joking kinda way, but be careful not to muse this out-loud in the presence of women who have done this - they may challenge your deductions.

ratssass · Jan 20, 2014

[QUOTEA year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case" ][/QUOTE]

point taken

...did you not just prove this?...and i do apologize if there is a medical condition that caused her to choose to not use in an epidural 2 more times.However,you will never hear me ask for another kick.

limr · Jan 20, 2014

I have never given birth, so I can't comment on that, but I don't even think you have to go that far. I would contend that even plain old menstrual cramps are worse than getting kicked in the nuts. Perhaps the severity of the initial pain is similar, but cramps are still worse because the duration is longer. To explain, imagine getting kicked in the nuts. It hurts, you fall down. The pain continues to throb for a while. It would eventually go away, but then you get kicked again. And again. And again. For three days straight. Oh, and you still have to go about your regular responsibilities, except now you have to deal with the "oh, he must be on the rag" comments when you have the GALL to be less than cheerful while getting kicked repeatedly in the nuts. For three days.

wyogirl · Jan 20, 2014

I think all you proved is that men are big babies and women are the sole reason the human race can continue.

wyogirl · Jan 20, 2014

Just think about squeezing a watermelon through a water hose.

ratssass · Jan 20, 2014

....one of ya's go make me a sammich!!! :headbang:

limr · Jan 20, 2014

Oh, I'll make you a sammich, alright. You just might want to think twice before you eat it

Tiller · Jan 20, 2014

A worthy conundrum

I think all women suffer a mental block shortly after childbirth, which is why they would ever think of having another.

badrano · Jan 20, 2014

First, let me pick my self off the floor....feel out of my chair laughing so hard :lmao:

Talk about an off the wall thing to contemplate out.

ratssass...I like your logic.

But I think we should add some extra definition on "giving birth". Is it a natural birth or a C-section? I ask this, partly in fun, because of my experience back in December, or I should say, my wife's experience back in Dec. Long story short, we had to do a C-section and shortly after she was in recovery, something happened where all the different pain meds just happen to have worn off all at the same time. The staff was scrambling to get pain meds pushed into her and finally got things under control. I think it's safe to say, my wife has a new meaning of a "10" on the pain scale...actually, I think the pain scale broke on this one.

In this case, giving birth IS more painful. I would have rather been kicked in the nuts than see my wife go through that.

oldhippy · Jan 20, 2014

ROTFLMAO. You guy&gals are way to funny. Having delivered a couple, home births. And having had the infamous kick in the gonads. I'd go for the kick. It cost about 180,000.00 less in the long run. And that is really painful. Later Ed

pgriz · Jan 20, 2014

Ummm, no, I don't think so. It does show that (some) women want children badly enough to deal with the pain that they know will happen. And don't forget, the child-birth is just the end of the process. Some women handle pregnancy very easily, while to others it is filled with six months of nausea, deep discomfort and all kinds of other issues. And of course, by the time you're on number 2, the first-born may or may not be sleeping through the night, and may or may not be colicky and cranky. But it's hard to generalize. In my extended family (first cousins and in-laws), I think we have about 26 kids (some couples have none, the median is 3 and one has 7). Several of the women has no issues at all, and had relatively quick child-births. Several went through a very long and difficult first deliveries. The one with 7 seems to be happiest when she's pregnant, which is perhaps why she's on #8. In the best case, you win your case hands down. In the more "usual" case, it's at least a tie. In the worst case, it's no contest.

The_Traveler · Jan 20, 2014

Years ago I had some acute pain in my back, passed out in the ambulance and woke up in the ER to a delightful morphine drip.
It turned out that I was passing several kidney stones.

Of course, since this was the worse pain I had ever I was curious how this compared to having a baby.
As it turned out, my assistant had experienced both so she suggested this to me.
'Put your forefingers, left and right in the corners of your mouth.'
OK, I did.
'Now, pull out the corners of your mouth,' she said; which I did.

"Now pull that over your head."

I stopped complaining.

wyogirl · Jan 20, 2014

I will say this, my best friend has experienced both a gunshot wound and child birth. She says that they are pretty darn close on the pain scale. However, just for fun here is this video:

And remember that this video simulation only simulates contractions, there is zero flesh ripping.